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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Note




Folks, regular posting will not resume this week as I take a much-needed break and some time to consider the future of this weblog and whether continuing to write about the show in its current state is good for me both emotionally and physically or not. I will make my decision by Friday. Thank you for reading and good day!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“All I’m going to say is I’m glad your wife doesn’t listen to this show, Ben. (251) 479-2723 is the number, that’s 479-2723”, said the Uncle after playing a listener’s voice message. “Let’s talk to Patty. Hello Patty”, he said to this hour’s first caller. “I’m calling about the Indian tribe, I owned a business that served the tribe”, said Patty. “I’m just calling in support of them even”, Patty admitted. “You know I’m in favor of gambling here and I just gambled”, said Patty. “All right, well, Patty, thank you for listening”, said the Uncle. “You have a great day and I enjoy your show”, said Patty before leaving us. “I don’t quite understand the way this is going to be regulated with the state and the federal government. I don’t know if it’s been established that the Indians can do whatever they want”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Dave. Hello Dave”, he said to the next caller. “This is going to be a great Friday”, said Dave. “I want to share a blessing, first of all the company I work for just laid off (some 500 people)”, Dave began. “I’m just blessed that I still have a job”, said Dave before changing the subject. “I want to comment about the fellow that just talked to you about the videos on YouTube”, said Dave. “Uncle Henry, I propose that that fellow has it backwards, there are a lot of people that know there’s something wrong with this country”, Dave continued. “That’s my opinion on that piece: you need people that are experts on that”, Dave concluded before responding to another previous caller. “We’re all experts on women”, Dave responded. “Some of them have nice lovely hearts, they get better everyday”, Dave continued. “Gambling: I am positive I am gambling down”, said Dave. “There is no such thing as a winner that wins all the time. The house will finally get you”, Dave continued. “Uncle Henry, this is going to scare the hell out of you, very interesting [book]”, Dave began. “How many minutes?” the Uncle asked about the book title. “Twenty-Three Minutes (in Hell)”, Dave answered. “Is it a reference to driving on Airport Boulevard?” the Uncle asked. “No, it’s [something] worse than that”, Dave responded. “It is the most scary thing of what can happen to you in eternity with nothing to save you”, said Dave. “The first couple of chapters tell about the experience and the rest tells afterwards”, Dave continued. “An outstanding call, Dave, one of the better ones of the week”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Still have an hour and a half to go as I have requested to communicate with Jay Lee (on ‘Ask the Expert’)”, said the Uncle. “A meeting of the minds”, he said before an alarm sound effect began in anticipation of a frequent caller. “Freddie alert! Freddie Alert System has been activated. This is not a test, we really have Freddie on the line”, said the Uncle before the caller spoke. After Freddie left us, “Now that is one of the weirder endings to a Freddie call. We’ve had a lot of weird instances with Freddie calls, that’s why we have the alert system”, said the Uncle. “You could remake ‘Ben-Hur’ and then have the kite fight”, the Uncle suggested. “Trey Lane, you can leave now for your smoke break”, he said to the show’s call screener, who reminded our host he had a question to ask. “I know this is going to extend your smoke break, but I want to ask you (about ‘She-Hulk’)”, said the Uncle. “Now when the hulk becomes the hulk, he busts out of his clothing, Trey Lane”, the Uncle reminded Trey Lane. “Now how are they going to do—is this going to be like a R-rated movie”, the Uncle asked. “I think after the blood transfusion, she was always the hulk”, said Trey. “It’s a terrible name for a character”, said the Uncle. “Yes, she defends a lot of superheroes”, said Trey. “A green attorney that lifts cars”, said the Uncle. “All right, Trey Lane, go smoke”, he told Trey Lane upon his departure. “I heard Jay Lee interviewed by several interviewers and Jay Lee is wildly”, said the Uncle before the break. After the final break for today and a voice message, “Yes, indeed, ‘The Tax Man’ referencing yesterday’s ‘Ask the Expert’. I have a special spin on my fast ball”, said the Uncle. “I have been waiting literally for years to question Jay Lee of Mattress World”, he admitted at the very end of the show.

Today’s 9:30 AM half-hour gets a 5/10!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show in progress on a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful—whatever day—it’s Thursday! There are so many things we haven’t gone into yet”, said the Uncle. “Just a little sarcasm there in the genealogy of ‘Coast to Coast AM’ there”, the Uncle continued. “It is very difficult at my age to tweet and host the show at the same time”, said the Uncle, as he lacks to the ability to “do five things at once”. “I’m over here at Baldwin County fixing to buy some candy”, said this hour’s first caller Mark. “For Easter?” the Uncle asked Mark. “You’re just someone that likes candy”, the Uncle presumed. “For Trey Lane”, Mark answered in reference to the show’s call screener. “Now imagine putting 50,000 satellites and space junk, which is up there right now”, said Mark. “Why don’t they bump into each other”, the Uncle asked. “Well, they’ve got them spaced out, I’m sure they’re out there”, Mark responded. “But they’re large”, Mark reminded our host. “They are putting weather balloons up by the thousands every month on the Earth and they’re up crying about global warming, they are causing it”, said Mark. “This Earth has enough up in outer space all ready”, Mark continued. “A lot of it is geostationary all ready”, said Mark. “At least you can shoot the space junk down or something”, Mark suggested. “Excellent observations”, said the Uncle before speaking to the show’s call screener. “He was talking about the satellites—the satellites up there that are blocking sunlight”, he told Trey Lane. “Let’s talk to Jimmy. Hello Jimmy”, he said to the next caller. “Wow, space junk, the direction your show goes. I wish I had a satellite”, said Jimmy. “I didn’t call in to talk about politics like I usually do, but I must [take on] Freddie”, said Jimmy. “Really I was calling is to ask you today, Henry, if you have any fans of golf”, Jimmy asked. “I went to the restroom like I always do and as I walked down the hallway, they were setting up a monitor (for the Masters)”, said the Uncle. “And you’re saying, ‘Well Uncle Henry, they’re not working’ ”, the Uncle assumed his listeners would say. “And I wonder why we even come to a central location to go to work. If you can do it on the laptop”, he said before speaking to caller Tim, also known as Sam Marston IV. “I got up extra early to go up and monitor the Senator Shelby breakfast”, said Tim. “Who brought my name up?” the Uncle asked. “You wouldn’t know him”, Tim responded. “The state of the city and county (event), did you hear that?” Tim asked. “I watched it on YouTube”, the Uncle responded. “Someone in my paper this morning told me that (Steve) Nodine didn’t make it”, said Tim. “Are you actually transacting or are you paying for something right now?” the Uncle asked. “Yes”, Tim answered. “Anyway, let me go take care of this”, said Tim before leaving us. “I’m glad Tim called in because he brought us news about the city council meeting and yes, Steve Nodine was not there and other officials were delighted”, said the Uncle. “The accountability wasn’t there and they just enjoyed it. The Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Telephone number is (251) 479-2723”, said the Uncle as Trey Lane’s theme music plays in the background. “Trey Lane, can you read me in there?” the Uncle asked. “After yesterday’s threatening call, I demanded to be the host of ‘Ask the Expert’”, said the Uncle, as the program will have “a security expert”. “In the last 10 minutes of the Uncle Henry Show, I will release you for your customarily smoke break”, our host informed Trey. “If people want to ask security questions, I want the calling available”, the Uncle explained. “Sometime in that hour, be prepared to ask a question about your specialty”, said the Uncle. “You’re a musician and I imagine you know about audio systems”, the Uncle continued. “That is correct”, Trey responded. “The City of Mobile now twittering, they’re now blogging and now they’re on Facebook”, said the Uncle. “What do you think it will go to next?” the Uncle asked Trey. “It will essentially be the same”, according to the Uncle. “There was once a time, you may not remember MySpace, but there was a place called MySpace”, he told listeners. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, he said to the next caller known for machine gun sound effects in the background. “Somebody made comments about (Herman) Thomas and Bob Clark going up to Montgomery”, said George. “They are on there way to a hearing”, the Uncle responded. “Some people that are public speakers, they get nervous when they speaking in front of a microphone or on the radio”, said George. “I agree with George on this. He was talking about—I was thinking about this the other day about different levels of intelligence”, said the Uncle. “If you hand them an iPhone or a MyPhone or something like that, they would be lost”, the Uncle remembered after hearing other folks. “They could take a jet engine apart and put it back together and make it work who couldn’t balance their checkup”, said the Uncle. “There are just different levels of intelligence”, the Uncle concluded. “Let’s talk to the G-Man”, he said before the next caller did a loud shout of “Roll Tide”. “I would like to clarify, a guy called in about the satellites and there were a couple of facts that weren’t reported”, said G-Man. “Most satellites live a very fine life, life in space”, G-Man continued. “Well thank you, I appreciate this, G-Man. Thank you”, said the Uncle. “This show really has taken a scientific bent lately”, said the Uncle. “It’s really something I enjoy hearing about, but it’s something I don’t have a knack for. I have the common sense for us having to blow up a cosmic object”, the Uncle admitted. “It’s like a disaster movie”, he explained.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 5/10!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It’s a beautiful day! You have fair skies”, said the Uncle. “(251) 479-2723, that’s 479-2723 or 479-2723”, the Uncle reminded listeners how to contact him by telephone. “Trey Lane, I’m going to be asking you about that e-mail in here in a little bit”, he told the show’s call screener. “He claims he’s on the level (of the e-mail writer), so I’m going to get him in here”, the Uncle explained. “It’s not something I care to get into, but it’s a shocking allegation, so we’re going to get into it”, the Uncle continued. “Let’s talk to Gerald. Hello Gerald”, he said to this hour’s first caller. “Well, Cooper Riverside Park (event) is still going to go on—the Fairhope tea party is still going on”, said Gerald. “I thought the Cooper Riverside—the battleship was not going to allow”, said the Uncle. “Our government works for us, we’re the payers—the taxpayers, anyway it’s going to be a short meeting at the battleship”, said Gerald. “Then we’re going to just have a short individual prayer and have a couple of patriotic songs and move on to the tea party in Mobile and the tea party in Fairhope”, Gerald continued. “Many of us have never uncommitted ourselves to the battleship tea party”, said Gerald. “I’m glad you called in to let us know about this, I’m glad you called in”, said the Uncle. “This is not to be divisive to the other tea parties, but if you cannot stand up for your own principles”, said Gerald, then what you’re going to do? “It will be a simultaneous tax party, a tax day tea party”, said the Uncle. “So tremendous resentment toward what’s going on with the government, the expenditures”, the Uncle continued. “All of this resulting in a tea party with the tea party organizers they are trying very much not to make it non-partisan”, said the Uncle. “This is very encouraging with all these groups forming together spontaneously with all these values”, the Uncle concluded. “We had very interesting things happen in the region recently. We had the Press-Register describe it as McElroy-ish”, said the Uncle before mentioning a frequent caller to the show. “Freddie claimed there was some kind of—it’s a very sensitive topic for me to bring up and I apologize in advance to my sister”, said the Uncle, who also apologized to all the female listeners. “A secret ring of powerful gay people that are controlling things in Mobile”, the Uncle explained. “I thought it was a joke”, said the Uncle, who received a call from someone he remembered saying, “Freddie may be closer to the truth”. “Did you hear the stuff that the e-mailer is alleging?” the Uncle asked Trey Lane upon his summoning. “Are you saying it’s a conspiracy theory?” the Uncle asked. “Yes, pretty much”, Trey answered. “It sounds like someone trying to confuse me or trying to make it into some kind of scam”, said the Uncle before reading the electronic mail message mentioned earlier. After reading part of the message, “I didn’t even know Mobile was big enough to have male models”, said the Uncle before reading some more. “It says you can also spot these people because they like to dress up and decorate themselves pretty much”, said the Uncle. “And it goes into stuff about Sodom and Gomorrah and now you’re saying this guy is on the level”, said the Uncle. “Again, I had two callers yesterday making the same unusual charge”, the Uncle reminded listeners. “The gay conspiracies are rampant in Mobile now”, said Trey before returning to his work post to the sounds of his theme music. “It sounds like I really have fallen off the back of the truck, I really have”, according to the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Eric. Hello Eric”, said the Uncle. “I thought we had crocodiles and alligators”, our host told Eric. “Now, we’ve got alligators and crocodiles. Now we’ve got two species possibly feeding on our pets and possibly our children”, said Eric. “And you say this is in the Press-Register?” the Uncle asked. “Yes, [sir], it’s in today’s paper”, Eric responded before leaving us. “The last time I saw a crocodile in Florida was in an episode of ‘CSI’ ”, said the Uncle. “Attracted to a power plant”, our host described the crocodiles in this TV program. “It was a very weird episode”, the Uncle concluded. Before the next caller ever spoke, “Fred, hang on there, I’ve got to get this break in. The Uncle Henry Show continues”, the Uncle said abruptly before the break for commercials. After the break, “This is the Uncle Henry Show here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Fred. Hello Fred”, said the Uncle before the caller referred to a trucker. “His taxes are going to go down because he’s going to be dealing with these Mexicans”, said Fred. “Yes, he’s called in very much about these truckers”, said the Uncle. “I think we need to get rid of some of these [congressmen]”, said Fred. “Thank you very much for the phone call, Fred. Let’s talk to John. Hello John”, said the Uncle. “Hello John—I mean, hello, Uncle Henry”, said John. “I’m in favor of turn signals, I, um, noticed that there are less turn signals than ever before and I blame that on people doing more in their vehicles”, our host told John after the caller left us. “Let’s talk to Henry. Hello Henry”, said the Uncle. “I hate to knock you off when this happened, but I disagree with you”, said Henry. “I think we should have five county commissioners”, Henry began. “We deserve better than that, we need five”, according to Henry “seeing more people”. “We need to get one thing and stick to it, not all this double standard”, said Henry. “I thank you very much for your listening, even though you disagree”, said the Uncle. “I had so many friends turn my back on me that disagreed with me”, the Uncle remembered. “And the Genesis thing you’re talking about, they had the wrong art sign in their yard, that’s what happened”, said the Uncle. “And they’re being punished”, he added before the next caller “Top Cat”. “Let’s talk to Tim. Hello Tim”, he said to the next caller also known as Sam Marston IV. “Ben Brooks is right, I think we shouldn’t have seven (Mobile City Council members)”, said Tim. “All right, Uncle Henry Show continues. We have the news next, then after the news more show”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners of the show’s online stream “as this show streams all day long”.

Today's 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 6/10!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Just a beautiful, beautiful day as for as 48 degrees”, said the Uncle. “I noticed my e-mail box has been quiet, an undisturbed e-mail box this morning. Let’s talk to Ron Wallace! Hello Ron Wallace!” said the Uncle. “Do you have an update for us?” the Uncle asked after expressing great enthusiasm for the caller. “Have you been looking into the noise ordinance situation—the downtown noise ordinance?” the Uncle asked. “Yes, I have”, Ron answered. “I don’t have a problem with that (noise) and also I don’t want to mess with the revenue stream coming out of downtown Dauphin Street”, Ron continued. “So you don’t a problem with the businesses, you feel sympathy”, the Uncle asked. “That is correct”, Ron answered. “Local residents in and around where they’re having this party and what have you, they’re not being notified”, said Ron. “I also think if you’re going to wave the noise ordinance for somebody else’s party in the neighborhood, they should be required to let them know”, said the Uncle. “I don’t know if they’re required”, Ron responded. “Have you done your second weekly radio address?” the Uncle asked. “Yes, I have”, Ron answered. “I think it’s going to be very good for the citizens of district 3 and if you listen to my radio address”, said Ron. “Thank you, Ron Wallace, for the update. Let’s talk to Ben. Hello Ben”, said the Uncle. “I’m going to be very careful how I say them because I can’t mention names”, said Ben. “Power corrupts”, Ben continued. “I would have suggest to you that with Judge (Herman) Thomas that this isn’t a case of whether he’s guilty”, said Ben before saying, “It’s a case of how he’s been protected all these years”. “Who are the guards, who are the people that knew he was taking people on trips?” Ben asked. “Here’s the mysterious part, Uncle Henry, there is a group of people with complete power here in Mobile”, said Ben. “I can’t mention names again”, said Ben. “They have such power they can decide not to prosecute someone”, said Ben. “There are things downtown that happen and Freddie, I know you want to have me as one of your top ten crazy calls, but [what I’m talking] about is murder”, said Ben before leaving us. “I didn’t know you were talking to me, Uncle Henry”, said our next caller after laughing at himself. “I was talking to you”, the Uncle responded. “Not to me directly”, the caller responded. “These (housing) units are going to cost you, the taxpayer, $432,000 a month”, said the caller. “I’m just waiting to see, the number of crimes increase once they get started on this thing downtown”, the caller admitted. “Unfortunately, we have our police department—the police department scattered across Mobile”, said the caller. “There is no central office”, the caller continued. “Speaking of parking, I was attending a chain of R-1, R-2 facilities for the Salvation Army”, said the caller. “Now they’re ready to rebuild”, the caller continued. “Yeah, the Salvation Army is going to do fine with our taxpayer dollars, but let me get on to the parking situation”, said the caller. “We’re just getting all kinds of stuff happening today out of the news hour. The Uncle Henry Show continues”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break and a silly voice message, “Hey Crockett, that is um—please don’t ever say anything like that again. You have the right to say those things”, said the Uncle in response to the recorded message from a listener. “We try to leave the first ladies as much as unscaved”, the Uncle continued. “If you disagree with some political statement”, the Uncle approved. “But please don’t talk about her girth”, the Uncle concluded before the next caller. “That is a scary item that people have forgotten about is that he (Herman Thomas) was nominated by Bill Clinton”, said the caller. “Maybe the government needs spanking”, said the Uncle. “People have given me so much to ponder today, my wheel barrel is full of ponderous”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller George, who used a machine gun sound effect as usual. “How long has Judge Herman Thomas been as a circuit court judge and previously has been in the district attorney’s office”, George asked. “The district attorney has been pretty quiet on all this situation about Judge Thomas”, George continued. “I would be very open minded in not being closed mind on who’s connected on all of this and that was a pretty strong article by Lagniappe”, said George. “Quotes by Kowalski and boy that was a story that will knock your socks off”, said George, who enjoyed saying the name “Kowalski”. “We’re all speculating and we all have an opinion as we have the right to do with our public officials”, said George. “Absolutely”, the Uncle responded. “Looks very funny, very peculiar, it’s been over a year”, said George. “I said, ‘Hey man, things are beginning to roll here”, he said after the Lagniappe article’s publication. “All they have to see is look at his phone records and see who Judge Thomas has been talking to a lot”, George suggested. “I think it’s more than a coincidence”, George concluded. “Thank you very much for your phone call and [your] speculation”, said the Uncle. “I may be ahead of a day or two of the news cycle”, according to the Uncle. “I only have two sources on this and I want to be sure”, said the Uncle. “As you have the right to be a speculator and citizen of the United States”, the Uncle reminded listeners. “We have five shows, the five previous shows streaming”, he reminded listeners before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 5/10!

Monday, April 06, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show in progress. Beautiful, beautiful Monday morning”, said the Uncle before responding to a very irritating voice message he just played. “It sounds like it would be a twice an entertaining time at the Saenger Theater. ‘Tax Man’ at the Saenger Theater along with the Righteous Brothers and the Port Wine Stains”, the Uncle responded. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, he said to this hour’s first caller known for using machine gun sound effects in the background. “Let me read this, something I found in my papers, I tried to find something about bow ties, a jury trial is a trial by jury as preference to the trial by the government”, said George. “And this is very important, we want everybody to have a jury trial and a fair trial”, George continued. “That’s all I have to say—oh [yeah], the bow ties”, said George. “Let’s talk to the Theodore Astronaut. Hello ‘Astronaut’ ”, said the Uncle. “Did you get my message?” the caller asked. “Yes I did, you wrote a new song!” the Uncle answered. “I’m just wondering are we ever going to be able to have any kind of congressional approval for the rallies we’re going to have?” the caller asked. “I submit that if Judge (Herman) Thomas was white and his accusers were black, it would be a whole different story”, said to the caller. “It’s something a lot of people wish we hadn’t played all the time on these kind of occasions, but I don’t think we’re beyond that point”, said the Uncle. “For now and the foreseeable future, that’s going to be a top of the mind issue. The Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Thank you, L. D., for your phone call. I didn’t come up with anything on the tunnel”, said the Uncle in response to a listener’s recorded message. “Many people are much smarter than me on ways of improving the tunnel”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Michael. “These half-truths that our newspapers put out [force] us to read”, said Michel. “You would think they’re right in bed with our politicians about [there] being crime in downtown Mobile”, according to Michael. “You’re right about the forums at AL.com and many people express their opinions there”, said the Uncle. “You have yourself a wonderful day”, said Michael before leaving us. “Many times in these news stories party affiliation not mentioned, unless you’re a republican”, said the Uncle before bringing one news article in particular. “The story claims that because gas prices were so high, last year that the number of people killed in automobile accidents hit its lowest levels in decades and I’m sure it’s going to be used in an argument against gas prices”, said the Uncle. “Cheap gas kills”, our host used for example. “I mentioned to you last week that we had the political awakening of Trey Lane as he was involved in this battle to keep things quiet in downtown Mobile”, said the Uncle before summoning the show’s call screener with his theme music. “I just noticed there is a Facebook group for people against the noise ordinance”, said Trey. “It was MySpace and then it was Facebook. What is it next, Twitter?” said the Uncle. “Nobody talks about their MySpace page anymore”, according to the Uncle. “Are you saying there is a special Facebook page for people to express their opinions about [this] noise ordinance in downtown Mobile?” said the Uncle. “Well you’re challenging who—you should have gone to the webinar”, the Uncle suggested. “There is a special Herman Thomas Facebook page”, said the Uncle, who explained it as a page for “supporters of paddling”. “I would like to know how many people signed up for that, I would like to see if Yvonne Kennedy, Fred Richardson, or Mayor (Sam) Jones signed up for it”, said the Uncle. “Let me look into my group invitations to see if anyone invited me to join it. All right, I have three group invitations. Listen to these group invitations”, the Uncle continued. “I’ve been invited to join the Fairhope Tea Party, I will confirm that”, said the Uncle. “I’ve also been invited to join a group called Stop the Use of Live Dogs as Shark Bait. Now is that real? Is that real? I’ve never heard of that”, the Uncle continued. “Now if that were real, Oprah (Winfrey) would buy a battleship!” said the Uncle. “You would probably have international—you would probably be talking about Greenpeace. Everybody would be on that”, according to the Uncle. “Find out how many people joined (the Herman Thomas group) and all that good stuff”, our host told listeners of his activities planned for the commercial break. “There is a guy that e-mails me about how he gets many repeated phone calls about how his car warranty is going to expire”, said the Uncle. “Now I’ve got one on my cell phone and now this man he’s e-mailed me his experiences”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. That voice mail was interrupted, he barely got his voice mail out before family matters. (251) 479-2723 is the number or 479-2723. The e-mail address is unclehenry@newsaradio710.com. Yeah, there has been a lot of people talking about this boat ramp situation”, said the Uncle after playing a listener’s recorded message. “Others are claiming that these people with the bait shop had a ground sign in their yard which is the wrong kind of sign to have in your yard if you’re trying to keep your bait shop. It makes you wonder if leases are [necessary]”, said the Uncle. “If you’ve got a contract, but the government wants to do something—the government wants to do anything they want”, said the Uncle, who asked, “What is the point of having a contract?” “Let’s talk to John. Hello John”, he said to the next caller. “I tell you one thing that gets to my craw on a Monday is that you get the same people calling on your voice mail”, said John. “It’s irritating me and I don’t know what to do about it”, John continued. “Just a few, it’s the same ones to call in all the time”, John responded to our host’s question. “Danny doesn’t call in very often, the one you just heard”, said the Uncle. “Which one were you talking about? What was the topic?” the Uncle asked. “Uncle Henry, I don’t know”, John responded. “I don’t know his name”, John said about a midnight voice message caller. “I just turned your radio on, but when I’m on my way to work, usually between 7:00 and 7:30, he’s on”, said John. “I appreciate your show and I appreciate the callers that call in live to you”, John admitted. “Thank you for alerting me to this”, said the Uncle. “Take care!” said John before leaving us. “I know you’re busy in there YouTubing”, our host said to Trey Lane. “Now John’s call is very interesting because we just had a caller that calls in every three months”, said the Uncle before playing this caller’s voice message. “I don’t know if that guy’s ever called the voice mail”, said the Uncle before playing the voice message played after the commercial break. “I wonder if it’s Bill that’s irritating this man?” the Uncle asked. “Let’s talk to Johnny. Hello Johnny”, said the Uncle. “Everything the government does is done exempt from. The only protection we have is the constitution and they’ve almost done away with that”, said Johnny. “So it’s just a matter of, you know, of us going toward a totalitarian regime when it comes to contracts”, according to Johnny. “I guess our punishment is to be so arrogant. So when you think about it that anytime you’re with the government, it’s the law of the jungle, might is right”, said Johnny before leaving us. “Another live call to the Uncle Henry Show”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “I haven’t looked at it (the lease)”, our host told the caller. “We have more live callers coming up”, the Uncle told listeners before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Paul. Hello Paul”, said the Uncle. “Have you heard of Bernie Madoff?” Paul asked. “Yes”, the Uncle answered. “Taking all those people’s money”, Paul responded. “On Saturdays they sell crackers (on the radio)”, said Paul. “Do we have a colon cleansing show that I’m aware of?” the Uncle asked. “Why do we have so many of these [talents] trying to steal people’s money?” Paul asked. “Please tell me”, Paul requested. “You don’t like the commercials, call the people and tell them”, the Uncle suggested. “If any of these claims are claims that are unsupported, then you can go after them”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Mark. Hello Mark”, he said to the next caller. “My phone is working in the back of the Wallace Tunnel here”, said Mark. “Well congratulations!” said the Uncle. “Well the pier, the water there is so shallow”, said Mark. “What are we going to do, park on the side of the road where the oyster bed used to be?” Mark wondered. “What are the county people thinking?” Mark asked. “What is the ‘Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers’ up to today?” Mark asked. “The Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers’?” the Uncle asked before Mark clarified his reference to the president of the USA. “I’m going to hang up and listen to more”, said Mark before leaving us. “Of course we’re going to have to find some more things to tax”, said the Uncle. “We’re going to have to find something else to tax. The Uncle Henry Show conclusion is next”, he said before the break. After the final break and a voice message, “You have a great day as well anytime the stock market is up”, said the Uncle in response to the recorded message. “I’m not going to ask Trey Lane anything, he doesn’t pay attention to anything outside of Dauphin Street”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Anna. Hello Anna”, he said to the next caller. “Out of time, thank you for listening. We have ‘Ask the Expert’ coming up with your automotive advice”, said the Uncle. “Remember to pray, pray for others”, he reminded listeners, along with “read your Bible”.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle after playing an angry voice message and a calm voice message from listeners of the show. “In a lot of cases we are told we have a slight risk of severe weather, today we’re placed on a moderate risk”, he informed listeners before attempting to speak with this hour’s first caller. “Lost Robert! Then let’s talk to Mary. Hello Mary”, said the Uncle. “I think that was very unfair. I hadn’t known anything about it (social security increases) on the TV. I read it in the newspaper”, said Mary. “That’s all I have to say”, she said before leaving us. “All right, thank you very much. That was something—something about social security”, said the Uncle. “You’re right, I didn’t see anything about this in TV news. I read about it in printed media”, he said in agreement with Mary. “A front page story in the Press-Register about a new study on traffic—they’ve had a big debate over the past couple of years on whether we need a new bridge over the bay or not”, said the Uncle before crediting the newspaper article writer with his irritating pronunciation of the name “Dan Murtaugh”. “So I’m going to point—I find all of this fascinating. I’m at a point now where we have to try something and it’s clear that the bridge is many years away from being built if it’s ever going to be built”, said the Uncle. “If it means a plan to divert traffic, we’ve had suggestions that truck traffic be diverted”, according to the Uncle. “Running around does make this worse and it [does] get worse year after year”, the Uncle continued. “We can’t wait anymore for the bridge, let’s do something if it means diverting some traffic, divert it”, the Uncle concluded. “Let’s talk to Rick. Hello Rick, good morning”, said the Uncle. “There are three ways to get around the water (Mobile River) there: there’s the Bankhead Tunnel, there’s the Wallace Tunnel”, said Rick. “Go around Water Street and get on the Africatown bridge”, Rick continued. “That’s how I get around”, Rick mentioned. “I think the whole idea was to slow you down along that sharp turn (in the Wallace Tunnel)”, said Rick. “I think the key thing there is to let everybody know that you can increase your speed once you get out of the tunnel there”, Rick concluded. “I think we’ve got to do something”, said the Uncle. “Well, that’s my solution”, Rick responded. “When you’re headed eastbound, that’s got to stop. They’ve got to close that off because it’s an added element that doesn’t need to be there”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “These (automatic) calls from the City of Mobile and now we’re doing it for a webinar—a webinar, is that what they’re calling it?” said the caller. “To me, is there any coincidence of a webinar address hosted by Sam Jones [with this] happening four months before the election?” the caller asked. “It’s free political advertising”, according to the caller. “I received a full-fledge letter on a city letterhead announcing all the wonderful things he (William Carroll) has done”, he said in reference to a member of the Mobile City Council. “Sorry democrat politicians using taxpayer money to get re-elected. That’s the sneaky little solution”, according to the caller. “I guess we’re going to get something from Sam Jones next inviting us to his campaign for re-election”, said the caller. “So we have the recycling, we have the prayer request, the recycling, I think we had the one for the tanker deal, the webinar”, the Uncle remembered among automatic telephone calls from the City of Mobile. “I think we need to have a contest to figure out what the next thing (automatic call) will be. Bon Jovi at BayFest, that’s what the next announcement will be”, said the Uncle. “Attention citizens, Bon Jovi with the short hair at [the] BayFest”, the Uncle continued. “An emergency would also be a common interest issue, but also local community matters. For example, what would be a local community [matter]?” said the Uncle. “For the Uncle Henry Show: Tonight, Jene Young fills in for Alan Sealls (on WKRG-TV5)”, he said for example. “So there, those of us that thought this was for emergency issues, we were wrong”, the Uncle concluded before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Telephone number (251) 479-2723. Let’s talk to Bob. Hello Bob”, said the Uncle. “I was thinking about this city phone system we’ve got here. I think it’s a good idea to use it to keep the crime rate down”, said Bob. “Just tell everybody, ‘I fight crime!’ ” said Bob in a slow, rough and possibly irritating tone of voice. “It would also create a perception of safety”, said the Uncle. “Absolutely”, Bob responded. “Let me find some of the stuff here again, the criteria for using the emergency phone system”, said the Uncle. “Crime would certainly be one (local community matter)”, said the Uncle before seamlessly playing recordings of John Tyson, Jr., including the one with him saying, “I fight crime”. “He would be fighting crime so I can watch ‘American Idol’ without any incident”, said the Uncle. “I don’t have the e-mail inbox open right now”, said the Uncle admitted, “I will be looking into it in the next segment to find out anything exciting or informative”. “Sir, the event up in Hop is this Saturday”, he told one recent electronic mail writer. “A celebration of rattle snakes”, he explained. “Rattle snake races, that’s still legal, rattle snake races”, the Uncle continued. “I am unsettled by the sound of a rattle snake. When I was a young child, we had various rattle snake incursions in the house”, said the Uncle. “I understand that I am in the minority that people love snakes”, he said before remembering a fellow employee in the past. “He had this big aquarium full of snakes”, said the Uncle. “You weren’t there, we you?” he asked the show’s call screener all of a sudden, “I didn’t know if you were working [here] at the time, Trey Lane”. “It wasn’t anything religious”, he mentioned about the snakes and the children wearing them. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Well that’s a—that’s a very good—I guess that would be a warm invitation to your easter egg hunt, but you left out a couple of [key players]”, said the Uncle in response to a silly voice message from a listener before seamlessly playing another recording from the same listener. After the message ended, “Well you still left a couple of people off”, the Uncle responded. “Let’s talk to Ricky. Hello Ricky”, said the Uncle. “I want to tell you—I’m really fed up, I live out in the county”, said Ricky. “Mobile is on a dam. It’s not a matter of if, it’s when”, according to Ricky. “Well it looks like they’re taking tax bases and taxpaying people, now it looks like they’re going out in an area (of non-tax paying people)”, said Ricky. “You said you’re hearing rumors. I have not heard any rumors”, said the Uncle. “If it’s going to happen, I would think it would be many, many years in the future”, according to the Uncle. “Mobile can’t afford Prichard”, the Uncle added. “I’m not disputing what you’re saying, I’m saying that someone like me doesn’t know what you know”, said the Uncle. “What in the future is planned for Prichard? Is there a racetrack plan for Prichard?” Ricky asked. “That’s right”, the Uncle answered. “There are probably federal grants involved in taking over a federal city”, said Ricky. “Anyway, all I’d like for anyone out there threatened by annexation”, Ricky began. “It’s time for these communities outlined to incorporate”, Ricky suggested. “What I’d like to call is the old Mobile and all these new places they’re not getting the representation”, Ricky continued. “If we started out here, we wouldn’t have department services”, according to Ricky. “The City of Mobile is so overwhelmed, they need all of that”, said Ricky. “All right, I’ve taken a lot of time, I thought it was useful information”, according to Ricky. “You’ve had a lot of callers that wasted a lot of time”, said Ricky. “Have you ever been on the FM side?” Ricky asked. “I’ve been on the FM side”, the Uncle answered. “Where I live is West Mobile, I don’t know if you guys turn up your antenna, but way out here I can’t hear you most of the time”, said Ricky. “I appreciate your time and I’m sorry for [staying on so long]”, he said before leaving us. “Evaluating other callers of being unworthy and then complaining about the reception”, said the Uncle. “I am lobbying to take over ‘96-1 The Rocket’ (WRKH-FM) ”, according to the Uncle. “If you ever see anyone working at ‘96-1 The Rocket’, tell them that’s something that should happen”, the Uncle suggested. “Do you like the prayer part of it (the automatic messages)?” our next caller asked. “I was all ready praying”, the Uncle responded. “Like I said, I don’t need them to tell me to pray”, said the Uncle. “By the way, it’s really nasty out here today”, said the caller. “Say that again?” the Uncle asked. “It’s really nasty out here today”, the caller repeated before leaving us. “The last caller (Ricky), who was really harsh against other callers, he’s probably really disappointed at you right now”, our host told the previous caller before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Katherine. Hello Katherine. Hello Katherine. One more time for Katherine. Hello Katherine. All right, Katherine is not—Katherine is gone for some reason”, said the Uncle before using an alarm sound effect in anticipation of a very frequent caller. “I had to activate the Freddie Alert System. I wonder how that caller—Ricky was his name—I wonder how he would evaluate the Freddie call?” said the Uncle before speaking to Freddie. After Freddie left us, “One for the record books, I think that’s a first call about eating goat. Let’s talk to Chuck. Hello Chuck”, said the Uncle. “I think any of these creatures taste good if you cook them the right way”, our host told Chuck, who suggested squirrels. “But that’s not what I called in for today”, Chuck admitted before asking, “What is the element for today?” “Dilithium crystals”, the Uncle answered, but could not explain them. “Freddie took all of the element of the day time”, said the Uncle. “Well there are only 70 or so elements, but speaking of goats, Uncle Henry, have you ever heard of a fainting goat?” said Chuck. “I wonder if they taste good?” the Uncle asked before Chuck left us. “What a weird segment this turned out to be!” said the Uncle. “After we had the very serious caller (Ricky) who was harsh on other callers, we’ve had other callers that weren’t so harsh”, said the Uncle, who was “glad of that”. After the final break for today, “The Uncle Henry Show concluding here on NewsRadio 710. A wonderful program, very spirited discussion”, said the Uncle. “The tunnel, the issues with the tunnel. We’ve had discussions about goat meat. Excellent, excellent phone calls”, said the Uncle. “You can also listen to the previous five shows in a continuous stream on NewsRadio710.com. I’ve been told that some politicians use their entire weekend with the Uncle Henry Show”, said the Uncle. “Remember to pray, pray for others and read that Bible”, he reminded listeners at he end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Note of Interest:

Folks, posting resumes on Monday. Good day!

“Strong T'storms” - TV5 meteorologist John Nodar

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