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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. It is a beautiful day, cannot wait to get into this day. I have been in this room since before the sun came up and if I had to tell them, ax these windows”, said the Uncle. “I believe they sealed these windows because of the ant problem. Well you say, ‘Well Uncle Henry, this doesn’t make much sense’ ”, said the Uncle, who changed his voice to play the role of the listener before explaining the location of the WKRG-TV building having a large ant population. “Let’s talk to Tony. Hello Tony”, he said to the first caller this hour. “A couple of quick observations”, said Tony in reference to an economic solution. “I think every American needs to e-mail the president and say something needs to be done about [so] someone goes to jail”, said Tony. “We need to put a finger on who’s responsible for this”, said the Uncle. “Well Tony, I hope we get the investigation we want”, said the Uncle before some background music played suddenly. “I like playing the musical ending. People don’t realize that Tony was hanging on for 90 minutes”, said the Uncle. “There’s like a—sometimes calls—it’s like around the corner, it’s hard to see. That sounds weird, it is weird! It’s a weird, 3-D kind of thing”, he described a software error leaving the caller on hold before speaking to caller Jenny. “Can you hear me?” Jenny asked. “I can hear you loud and clear!” said the Uncle before Jenny promoted a new local headquarters for a candidate for the presidency of the USA. “Now how much are you charging people for bumper stickers?” the Uncle asked. “I think the bumper stickers are at least 50 cents or a dollar”, said Jenny. “The lapel is a dollar”, Jenny continued. “It’s actually funded by an individual in Spanish Fort”, said Jenny, who was referring to a single person. “So it’s like a grassroots [effort]”, said the Uncle. “We are looking for volunteers and it is a grassroots effort”, said Jenny. “That’s in Spanish Fort, top of the hill, you can’t miss it. They have it well decorated”, said the Uncle, who drove by the place before. “Let’s talk to the G-Man. Hello G-Man”, said the Uncle. “Roll Tide!” G-Man shouted before our host responded with, “Roll Tide Roll”! “Woo!” said G-Man. “ ‘Mr. Street Sweeper’ made his rare appearance in downtown Dog River this morning. It’s like dancing in the streets. I’m glad he was here”, said G-Man before thanking “the mayor, the city council or whoever is responsible for this”. “I think things are looking pretty grim for Tennessee this year”, said the Uncle in reference to the college football team. “Well, good luck Saturday night”, said G-Man in reference to our host’s favorite college football team, the Alabama Crimson Tide. “Hello Uncle Henry, God bless the United States”, said our next caller Mike. “If people could not afford these mortgages they’re giving the mortgages anyway”, said the Uncle. “By the way, Henry, I heard that we lost one of our local boys this week”, said Mike, who was never corrected about the West Asian where the former Theodore High School student died, which was actually Pakistan. “Sometimes I have just to pray and weep”, said Mike. “Let’s talk to Maurice. Hello Maurice”, said the Uncle. “The real culprit in this crisis goes back to the Clinton administration”, said Maurice. “This is a democratic scandal, Uncle Henry”, said Maurice, who wishes “the finger” of the president was pointed toward the “dag gone” political party referred to. “Uncle Henry, what is going on?” Maurice asked. “You have essentially taken all the thoughts in my mind and spilled them out”, said the Uncle. “You know, this is not a Wall Street problem. They saw all the problems and know what’s going on, but this is a democrat problem”, said Maurice, who is tired of seeing “fingers pointed toward” the current president of the USA. After Maurice’s shout of “Roll Tide Roll”, “Excellent punctuation to your phone call”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials, including an interruption lasting less than a second with our host saying, “Trey Lane”, the show’s call screener. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Jimmy. Hello Jimmy”, said the Uncle. “Henry, good morning. Let’s talk a little bit about this proposed government bailout”, said Jimmy. “Let’s say I own a mortgage that’s about to be bailed out”, said Jimmy, who continued with “whoever borrowed money from me owes my a thousand dollars” before adding that would be his own fault. “I was making a very good argument that nobody in the federal government cannot owe me, a mortgage owner, an accurate difference”, according to Jimmy. “I would make the argument that the government doesn’t know (pretty much) anything other than the military, roads”, said Jimmy. “Let’s talk to Donna. Hello Donna”, said the Uncle. “I’ve got an e-mail from (University of) Alabama staff”, said Donna after learning about the jersey colors for the Alabama Crimson Tide game this Saturday. “I sit here at times and wonder what’s going on in the world?” said Donna. “I just never see just such viciousness and attacks (before)”, she explained. “I just never see anything like it, don’t you?” Donna asked. “There have been attacks in politics throughout the history of politics”, said the Uncle. “It’s like they get [complacent] up there”, said Donna. “It’s like everything is crazy”, she concluded before our host agreement. “All this talk about whose responsible, I’m sure there’s plenty of room [going] around”, said our next caller Bill before bringing to our attention an interview with William Jefferson Clinton on the TV news program “Today” . “In looking back, he said it was a mistake, but he explained that the economic situation back then was different”, said Bill. “I give Bill Clinton credit, it took a lot of bold for acknowledging that fact”, Bill continued “So part of this has to do will Bill Clinton’s philosophy at the time”, according to Bill. “Bill, thank you for calling and brought that up”, said the Uncle before mentioning what he’s noticed about the former president defending a presidential candidate. “He is marching to his own drummer, it looks like”, said the Uncle before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“All right, we are going to talk to Vaughn. After we talk to Vaughn, I am going to give away BayFest tickets, because Vaughn has been holding”, said the Uncle after a ridiculous voice message from a listener. “It’s Mobile’s downtown filthy weekend music festival”, he said about the BayFest event. “We put the winners through the [ticket] security circuit”, said the Uncle before playing audio of the mystery singer for callers to identify in this contest. “Oh yes”, said the Uncle as the audio played. “Who is this mystery singer? Who’s this?” he asked. “Thank you, Trey Lane, nodding angrily. He doesn’t like this contest”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Jeff. “I believe it’s Engelbert Humperdinck”, said Jeff. “Yes!” said the Uncle. “Jeff, getting the mystery—let me see if I can put you on hold—Jeff, getting it right [off] the bat”, said the Uncle. “I was trying to showcase the type of music in this contest that I think should be at BayFest”, said the Uncle. “That’s what they need to bring. They are bringing a Z. Z. Not down there, why not an Engelbert Humperdinck tribute?” said the Uncle. “I am going to summon Trey Lane, who is in the middle of a screening”, the Uncle announced. “He has to get out of his call screening harness and put on a special harness to get on the air. Are you on the harness?” said the Uncle. “Yes”, Trey answered. “Now I have a new offering that I would like to have your offering on”, said the Uncle before asking the call screener if he’s ever seen Z. Z. Not. “No, I have not seen Z. Z. Not”, said Trey. “Let me turn up your microphone to full volume”, said the Uncle before explaining the band Z. Z. Not. “So you can make a living not coming up with your own stuff, but using (others)”, said the Uncle. “Have you ever thought about being in a tribute band?” the Uncle asked. “No, I have not”, Trey answered. “As a professional musician and a member of several musical groups, including the group Seduction Bomb”, said the Uncle, who wants Trey Lane to hear one listener’s song in a voice message. “All right, Trey Lane, you are a professional musician, what are your thoughts on Bill performing—I think it was the Righteous Brothers”, said the Uncle. “I think that has something to do—maybe it has something to do with my pledge on celibacy”, he said about Bill’s song. “How does that make you feel when he sang that song about you?” Trey asked our host, who was not comfortable. “Here I called you in for your musical opinion and you’re psychoanalyzing me”, said the Uncle. “Play it again, Uncle Henry”, said Trey after sharing his other thoughts about the song before the break for commercials. After the break, the theme music from the TV program “CHiPs” was used as bumper music. “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. (251) 479-2723 is the number. Let’s talk to Susan. Hello Susan”, said the Uncle. “I was watching on CNBC somebody talking”, said Susan, who heard about the Congress of the USA's Garn-St. Germain Act, which she spelled out as “G-A-R-N-A-C-T”. “Thank you for your call and I enjoyed your call”, said the Uncle. “This e-mail from the governor of Alabama press office”, said the Uncle before reading the message about alternative fuel pump openings. ‘So Governor Riley to be here tomorrow with the opening of bio-fuels with Sam Jones”, said the Uncle before caller Zach. “They had hearings on everything. They had no hearings around here! Someone should be going to jail!” said Zach. “That’s my two cents and I hope Alabama stumps Georgia, even if they are red or black”, said Zach. “I still don’t understand the significance of changing your shirt in winning a sporting event”, said the Uncle before the break. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Kermit. Hello Kermit”, said the Uncle. “I was dropping my wife off to work one day on Three Notch Road”, said Kermit, who noticed a street sweeper on the road and asked himself today, “What is going on here?” “I don’t think they’re pulling the wool over people’s eyes or anything”, said Kermit. “I am a fan of my dog who is going bonkers over the weather on this day”, said the Uncle. “I will be checking in with (Rush) Limbaugh and even (Todd) Schnitt”, said the Uncle as he reminds listeners about the “live talk” on his radio station. “We have the bizarre, freakish ‘Coast to Coast AM’ ”, our host also mentioned among the programs on the station. “Trey Lane has sent me some sort of video about a poor animal. I’ll put the animal video on the page”, said the Uncle, who won’t be playing the video right now at the call screener’s request because it’s “too disturbing”. “Remember to pray, pray for others”, he reminded listeners, along with finding “all the answers within the pages of your Bible”.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. A lovely day, a beautiful day. Sunny skies”, said the Uncle. “I’m sure glad it (the half-hour newscast) ended with a sports story instead of a bizarre story like the previous hour”, said the Uncle. “Still looking at all the various bailouts”, he said in reference to the news. “They better take it nice and slow with this whole thing. Let’s talk to Mike. Hello Mike”, said the Uncle. “God bless the United States of America”, said Mike. “Amen, man”, said the Uncle. “I have a question for you and a quick statement”, said Mike, who asked, “If all this useless paper by all these mortgage companies would all be worth something someday?” “One day we make money down the road, Henry, then we can roll back the money”, Mike predicts. “I haven’t worked out all the details, but it seems to me that if we can get the government out”, Mike continued. “If the government keeps the ball going, none of us is going to make money”, Mike concluded. “Yeah, the first thing—the first thing I heard on the radio story was on the NewsRadio 710 Wall Street Journal report”, said the Uncle, who was referring to the syndicated radio program “The Wall Street Journal This Morning” and an “interview with some guy”. “I would say that if a company accepts the bailout, l would like to get rid of all the CEOs” and all the congressmen they bought, said the Uncle. “They make them wear barrels held up by suspenders just for one day”, said the Uncle before suggestion Manhattan in New York, New York as a location to wear these barrels. “Back during the primaries, there was a company I believe was a company called Liberty Dollar”, said our next caller, who remembers the company “making gold and silver dollars of Ron Paul”, a candidate for the presidency of the USA. “I waited too late and the FBI actually closed them out”, said the caller, as the coins were considered “illegal tender”. “I remember this. Thank you for refreshing my memory”, said the Uncle. “They should include the Federal Reserve in this investigation as well because as many people don’t know, the Federal Reserve is actually a private entity”, said the caller. “I would not be opposed to that at all. Let the sunshine in”, said the Uncle in agreement. “Trey Lane, do you own a Ron Paul coin? Do you own a Ron Paul coin? You don’t, because I know Trey Lane was a huge Ron Paul guy at one point”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Steve. Hello Steve”, he said to the next caller. “Tell me why I shouldn’t vote for you, don’t make any excuses as to why should have been president”, said Steve. “This is still America, right?” Steve asked our host, who answered the hypothetical question. “Yes, this is still the United States of America”, said the Uncle. “So people have the right to vote for or against anyone for whatever reason”, said Steve. “The important thing is to vote for what you believe is really going on”, Steve continued. “All this political speak that goes on and everything is ugly and detestable”, according to Steve. “Let’s look at these peoples’ records and judge accordingly”, Steve suggested. “That’s all I really had to talk about. Good luck on the weight loss because I could get up there one day and help you out”, said Steve. “I myself loss [about] 50 pounds”, Steve mentioned. “The callers’ backing me up”, said the Uncle. “The doctor said I should lose some weight immediately if not sooner”, he recalled. “As of day 21, I have lost 21 pounds on my pickle and olive diet”, said the Uncle. As he was picking up pickles and olives at the grocery store, “They thought I was throwing a martini party”, our host said about the shoppers. “I said I’m on my Uncle Henry Pickle and Olive Diet”, said the Uncle before using Steve’s call as a reason to play “one of my favorite audio clips of all time” with a caller who was on the show before the 2004 presidential election, followed by another audio clip with the same caller. “That’s the one where she doesn’t believe in war”, said the Uncle before playing another one. “That wasn’t it either, it was pretty profound though. Now listener, I know you get fatigued for—but I can listen”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show progressing, inching ever forward to its conclusion. Let’s talk to Tommy. Hello Tommy, thank you for sitting through the delusion of who to vote for”, said the Uncle. “I’ve got one more thing for you, I was reading my Bible the other day. I like the one with Leviticus talking about the jubilee year. I was thinking it was in Matthew 25 where he was talking about the unprofitable servants”, said Tommy. “So Jesus may have been a community organizer, but he also had a mindset of capitalism”, according to Tommy. “It took me a while to get to it because I had to look through it several times”, our host told Tommy. “I have now found the clip”, the Uncle announced, “this wonderful clip where the birthdays—the birthdays as to how this lady is going to vote”. “Well, that is the best example I can ever give you. I don’t believe I’m a fighter, did you hear that? I love that, but that is the reality”, said the Uncle. “We like to order (organize) things and make them sense to us, but that is the reality”, he said before speaking to caller Bill. “Thank you for taking my call, praise the Lord, another alcohol free day”, said Bill before our host clapped. “These banks are not stupid, they know what they are doing”, said Bill. “They’ve got some real smart people, I can’t understand it”, Bill concluded. “I was thinking of taking a higher course by jumping out of an airplane with a parachute”, Bill mentioned “Do you want a thrill at our age”, Bill asked. “No, I don’t want that sort of a thrill”, said the Uncle. “I have nothing against you wanting to do it, but I don’t want to do it”, the Uncle added. “If you want a thrill and have an adrenaline rush”, said the Uncle, whose suggestion for Bill is to take money out of a bank account “and driving through the Tillman’s Corner area at 12 o’clock at night” before the caller mentioned carrying a gun. “Do you want to contribute something before the news”, our host asked caller Norman. “No, I’ll just call you back”, said Norman. “I was wanted to acknowledge you because we have the news coming up. After the news, more Uncle Henry Show”, said the Uncle before seamlessly playing another audio clip of the past caller heard previously. “All right see, someone likes me because I remind them of their hair dresser. You see—you just can’t—that’s the real world you see here”, said the Uncle before the seamless transition to the news, commercials, and station promotions.

“All right, Uncle Henry Show going to give away BayFest tickets now”, said the Uncle before responding to a listener’s voice message played with music from the TV game show “Match Game” in the background. “Now, that was a great suggestion, I wouldn’t have played your voice message if it weren’t for your voice mail”, said the Uncle. “We are doing a contest now, Trey Lane, you are lining up people now to your own detriment”, said the Uncle. “That is Mobile downtown filthy music festival”, he explained the BayFest event. “People try to steal the BayFest tickets, so we have to have special security”, he explained why the contest winner can’t pick up the tickets until tomorrow. “I think today’s mystery singer is going to be easier than the previous two”, said the Uncle, whose mystery singer audio is inspired by Trey Lane. “I love them, but I don’t like the song. They are tremendously talented”, said the Uncle before the first contestant caller spoke. “Gladys Knight?” caller Steve guessed. “Hello there, Uncle Henry, how are you”, said the next caller. “I’m going to say Ann Murray”, he guessed. “Ann Murray has my sister’s birthday”, said the Uncle, who would vote for her if she were running for the presidency of the USA. “Was that the Carpenters?” caller Raymond guessed. “Whatever happened to them?” the Uncle asked before admitting he all ready knows. “Why isn’t there more of a revival with the Carpenters”, he wondered. “Yvonne Kennedy?” said caller Tim, who was referring to the former president of Bishop State Community College in Mobile. “Hey, Uncle Henry. Could it be Toni Tennille?” said caller Jim. “Thank you very much, go to BayFest, be very safe and let us know what happened”, said the Uncle after Jim answered correctly. “That was the wonderful Captain and Tennille with the awful Muskrat song”, said the Uncle before playing the song again. “Vermin, you see there, I’ve got this clip, this is the TV special of their show with the animated muskrats on their head”, said the Uncle. “The audience was laughing at the muskrats on their heads. Awful song”, said the Uncle before recalling a Neal Sedaka song. “I’m trying to build up a group of Uncle Henry Show listeners to monitor BayFest”, said the Uncle. “Since I’m the only employee of this radio station—I’m now the only full-time employee of this radio station, I’m [being] forced to go down there and monitor BayFest for you, the listener. Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s get back to the telephones, let’s talk to Richard”, said the Uncle. “What do you mean substantiate that ($100 bill)?” he asked the caller. “What is the matter with you?” he asked. “Why are you so angry with the Uncle Henry Show?” he also asked. “I just recalled a series of news stories involving [robberies in] that area”, said the Uncle. “That’s fine that you can just read two or three stories”, said Richard, who believes this explains what our host thinks. “That’s just like the girls in Saraland losing their virginity”, said Richard before hanging up his phone. “We have the caller ID on that guy”, said the Uncle, who wants Trey Lane to contact Richard. “And you heard a resentment of Saraland. I don’t know how Saraland got involved—what is wrong with you, man?” said the Uncle before apologizing to listeners in “the Loop” area of Mobile for remembering the recent robberies there. “I have nothing against ‘the Loop’ ”, said the Uncle, who had a late friend who used to live in the area. “Now the caller Richard meant to offend Saraland”, said the Uncle. “Shame on him, shame, shame, shame. Trey Lane, that caller, we are instituting a one day ban on that caller, so if he calls in [tomorrow], he’ll be banned on Thursday”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “That previous caller, my suggestion to him is that he needs scripture and a new cell phone”, said the caller. “Yeah, I’m trying to win those BayFest tickets, but I’m going to give them to my son because my faith prevents me from going”, said the caller. “It’s pretty wild and loose when you go down in the City of Mobile”, said the caller. “Richard, get some scripture and a new cell phone, brother”, he said before leaving us. “Let’s talk to Miss Bess. Hello Miss Bess”, said the Uncle. “I just want to encourage your listeners as Mobilians and Americans”, said Bess, who wants them to write to their public servants in Washington, D. C. “We don’t have an economic problem, we have a perception problem”, said Bess, who believes “we can encourage them with that idea”. “That was nice. Miss Bess has calmed me down. Uncle Henry Show concluding segment is next”, said the Uncle. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show concluding here on NewsRadio 710. I’m going to bring in Trey Lane. He’s really taking the brunt of this guy” with a problem against Saraland, said the Uncle. “Now you heard the lady who said that the candidates’ wives are so kind”, said the Uncle before mentioning how Katie Couric was “helping people out on who to vote for” during “The CBS Evening News” by asking two of the presidential candidates what their favorite movies are. “Does that really help who to vote for by knowing what their favorite movie is?” the Uncle asked Trey. “What is your favorite movie?” the Uncle asked. “I don’t really know”, said Trey. “Now you’re implying that it’s all market research”, said the Uncle. “All too generic”, Trey said about one candidate’s favorites movies, including “The Godfather” and “The Godfather II”. “They do these things and you think it’s silly, but you don’t think of it subconsciously”, said the Uncle. “I wonder what Ron Paul likes to watch? I was hoping someone would say ‘Old Yeller’, ‘The Ten Commandments’, ‘Passion of the Christ’, something like that. No one said it. All right, another Uncle Henry Show comes to a close. Today was pretty good, tomorrow will be even better. Now you’re saying, ‘Uncle Henry, how do you know that?’ ”, said the Uncle, who answered his own question by saying he’s of a age to know these things. “Remember to pray and read that Bible”, he reminded listeners at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It is 9:05, five minutes after 9:00. Looking at the—we may have a new Memphis listener”, said the Uncle, who was referring to someone with access to the show’s almost live Internet stream. “I want to thank Bill—Bill, I want to let you know that I’m using one of your puppy dog plaques”, said the Uncle, who believes they have “a calming effect” in the studio after receiving them from a remote broadcast site. “We have more than one John on the line”, our host has learned. “Let’s talk to John number one”, he said. “To change the subject here, talking about the banking situation. I don’t think we need to be going after Fannie and Freddie”, said John, who was referring to mortgage holders by the nicknames. “These numskulls that have been running the show over the past two years, we need to kick the bums out”, said John before giving our host a shout of “Roll Tide Roll”. “That was a pleasant way to end your call”, said the Uncle before speaking to the other John, who believes the election of the next president of the USA “is going to be very close” after avoiding poll results related to the presidential candidates. “Let’s talk to Nick. Hello Nick”, said the Uncle. “Have you seen the morning paper?” Nick asked. “Yes, I did”, said the Uncle before Nick identified the newspaper report from Bayou La Batre, Alabama. “This is what got me interested, shortly after the storm (Hurricane) Katrina, she went down there and set up practice”, Nick said about a local doctor. “What bugs me is that she uses the poor folks in Bayou La Batre around the world as a poor, poverty community”, said Nick. “Nick, thank you very much for your phone call”, said the Uncle as the “Freddie Alert System” sound effect blares in the background due to a certain frequent caller on hold. “I did not look into the editorial section of the Press-Register, as I all ready have enough opinions as it is”, said the Uncle, who will read Nick’s letter to the editor later, but first he feels he must speak to caller Freddie. After the caller left us, “It’s going to take me minutes and minutes for me to get all the junk you threw out of my mind”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Gary. Hello Gary”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry, I’ve got a question about the racetrack on Highway 58”, said Gary. “I rushed to Wal-Mart and I bought two chairs, now I’ve got two chairs and no racetrack”, said Gary. “I wonder what’s going in?” he asked about the construction of the Alabama Motorsports Park. “I think they’re still in the permitting process”, said the Uncle. “I just wonder what happened to the sign, I wonder?” Gary asked about the “racetrack coming” sign. “I hope I didn’t waste $16 on new line chairs”, said Gary. “I haven’t heard anything new [of it] coming to pass”, said the Uncle. “I know they revised their plans”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Bea, whom he assumed to be a certain caller named Miss Bea before she spoke. “Yes, I’m losing some weight and I am spending my day eating olives”, said the Uncle, who told the caller he is “simply counting calories”. “I eat organic olives stuffed with various things”, the Uncle added. “Thank you very much, God bless you, it was wonderful to talk to you. I know olives are not a weight loss food”, said the Uncle, who listened to his doctor recently. “I found this Monterey Jack stuff recently, very good stuff”, said the Uncle before speaking to this hour’s third caller named John, who heard a “political rumor “about the first vice presidential candidate announced this year “stepping down”. “I only heard rumors, nothing reputable about it”, said the Uncle. “There is no reputable source about it”, he added. “Here is Bill Clinton on ‘The View’ yesterday, which is only good in that setting as he told the ladies to shut up”, said the Uncle before playing audio of the program that airs against “The Price is Right” at 10:00 AM. “Let’s talk to Bill. Hello Bill”, said the Uncle. “It’s good to hear your voice”, said Bill before calling the late Lyndon Baines Johnson an idiot, the late Richard Milhouse Nixon a crook, and the late Gerald Ford someone “who made mistakes”. “What I’m trying to make is—is not a big mess”, said Bill, who was trying to make a point about a presidential candidate he never saw “so convincing” in his 30 years. “You never believe what he can speak, but he’s one of the most convincing speakers”, said Bill, who believes the fellow is going to next president of the USA. “Bill making a very heartfelt prediction”, said the Uncle before mentioning the show’s next giveaway of tickets for Mobile’s BayFest event.

“I guess I have to call back in order to participate”, said our next caller Citizen John, who has “a neighbor who takes her child to B. C. Rain's” and complains about the high school’s parking fee. “Apparently it’s getting expensive to take a child to school in addition to the taxes we all ready pay”, said Citizen John before bringing to our attention paperwork for parents of students to sign. “I think that the old system, probably you maybe or not, but I had mine signed for my child”, said Citizen John. “Why even take attendance? Thank you, C. J.”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Michael. “I understood everything because I speak cell phone. My mind fills in all the blanks”, said the Uncle before describing today’s prize to be given away. “Downtown Mobile’s filthy music festival occurring October 1st”, said the Uncle before explaining the mystery singer content. “Here she is, take a listen at this”, he said before playing audio of the mystery singer. “Isn’t she wonderful? Absolutely wonderful”, said the Uncle. “That was in 1976 and she is actively involved in the music industry”, said the Uncle, who suddenly started laughing before mentioning the show’s call screener Trey Lane. “That is a good idea for a future mystery singer, but not right now”, he said to the call screener. “Oh my goodness, what a good idea for a mystery singer you have!” said the Uncle. “I didn’t hear the mystery singer”, said our next caller. “You didn’t hear the music we had?” said the Uncle before playing “this lady down the phone line for you”. “That was not Doris Day”, said the Uncle. “Thank you so much!” the Uncle shouted after the first response. “That was not Lena Horn”, said the Uncle after caller Jenny. “It was not Gladys Knight”, said the Uncle after caller Steve. “I love Gladys Knight, she was not in Mobile not so long ago”, said the Uncle. “It was not Michelle Obama”, said the Uncle after the next caller. “Is it Julie Andrews?” said another caller. “Just a wild guess, is it Olivia Newton-John”, said another caller. “Lost Anita?” said the Uncle before speaking to Don. “It is not Earth Kitt”, said the Uncle after Don. “It is not Ella Fitzgerald”, said the Uncle after Tom. “This is from a 1976 TV special. This lady was—the lady has done lots of TV commercials. She was on a TV show in the Seventies and she was—I’ve seen her recently”, said the Uncle. “Let me see if I can get Betty here”, said the Uncle. “Is it Edie Gourmet?” Betty guessed before the next caller. “Oh, you know it’s not Bea Arthur! Bea Arthur’s voice is much deeper”, said the Uncle after another caller. “Anthony, good morning. Anthony!” said the Uncle. “It is not Judy Garland. This lady is still alive”, said the Uncle after Anthony. “It is not Anita Bryant, now that would be another good one!” said the Uncle after another caller. “It is not Marie Osmond”, said the Uncle after another caller. “I’m going to guess Florence Henderson”, said Vincent. “You are absolutely right”, said the Uncle. “I am absolutely right”, said Vincent. “We have special security measures, so you have to wait”, our host explained about the tickets to BayFest. “Yes, Florence Henderson, she was appearing on a Paul Lynde Halloween special in 1976”, said the Uncle before a different audio clip from that TV program. “That person that was speaking with Paul Lynde as they were introducing Florence Henderson was called Wicki Poo”, said the Uncle. “Do you remember the LSD program for children, H. R. Pufnstuf”, said the Uncle. “Yes, Sid and Marty Croft, they were weird as can be”, the Uncle continued. “But they brought us Florence Henderson. You what! Trey Lane has revealed something that I need to bring him in for”, said the Uncle. “I have all the seasons of ‘Land of the Lost’ on TV”, said Trey. “All right, you have all the H. R. Pufnstuf, so what else?” the Uncle asked. “Whenever I would walk through and see that was on, I’d say go outside and play”, our host seems to recall about one other program watched by his children. “What was the menace (on “Land of the Lost”), there was no menace”, said the Uncle. “Trey Lane, thank you”, he said before the call screener returned to his work post. “Get me out of here with your trivia”, said Trey. “Trey Lane with a connection to a Florence Henderson clip”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. Trey Lane, I believe, I believe Sid and Marty Croft also produced the Hudson Brothers’ variety show”, said the Uncle. “In the 1970s there were variety shows on every channel, everyday, and anyone could get on, including a guy with an emu puppet”, said the Uncle before playing a sarcastic and angry voice message from “a guy you need to pray for”. “All right, so Dan, I really hate to hear that you were laid off, so you are in my thoughts and I want you to let me know what’s up”, said the Uncle. “I think we met twice, I feel like I know you, so you are definitely on my mind right now and I hope the layoff period isn’t long”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Gary. “They’re not going to vote, they’re going to be out campaigning”, Gary said about two presidential candidates and one vice presidential candidate who are also senators in Washington, D. C. “Let us talk to Shelly. Hello Shelly”, said the Uncle, whose caller “just wanted to let people know” about a bumper sticker giveaway for one presidential campaign. “The 8 o’clock, thank you so much, people”, said the Uncle, who might want to listen to segments from the hour again. “Thank you so much for the uplift of the 9 o’clock until we got to the contentions of the contentious Freddie”, said the Uncle. “Remember to pray, pray for others and when you’re doubt of what to do, you will find life’s answers within the pages of your Bible”, he reminded listeners at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Today’s, um, today’s hard to understand, isn’t it? Very difficult to understand”, said the Uncle after listening to a voice message. “Monday’s my favorite day of the actual week, Monday through Friday”, he told listeners before reminding them how to call in by telephone. “A fantastic weekend, as a football fan I enjoyed the weekend”, said the Uncle. “There’s no telling what kind of plan Congress’ going to have at the end of the week. The president’s going to have a bailout plan by the end of the week”, the Uncle continued. “There’s no telling what’s going to be slipped into that thing”, he believes. “Before we get into some in-depth discussions”, said the Uncle, who will be “giving away some tickets to BayFest right now on the Uncle Henry Show”. “That’s right!” he shouted. “Don’t leave, you need to be ready for giving away tickets to BayFest”, he told the show’s call screener Trey Lane. “The one that wins need to be told that their passes will not be available for pick up today”, he explained. “We have had all kinds of inter-building problems with people trying to pick up tickets to BayFest”, said the Uncle due to the WKRG-TV building’s “super security system”. “Let’s now listen to the mystery singer”, he said before playing audio of the singer for listeners to identify. “Isn’t this wonderful? I thought if they had this at BayFest, I would go to it. Ah, isn’t that wonderful?” said the Uncle before speaking to this hour’s first caller Robert. “Isn’t it Marie Osmond?” Robert asked, but was incorrect. “I wanted to pass, I wanted to talk to you”, said our next caller Freddie, who “thought you were just giving them to the first caller”. “You weren’t listening closely”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Tom. “It was not Skeeter Davis”, said the Uncle after Tom. “All right, let me play just another excerpt of the mystery singer”, he said. “All right, can you identify the mystery singer? (251) 479-2723 is the number”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “That is not Michael Jackson, even though that sounded a lot like him”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Johnny. “It is not Petunia Clark”, said the Uncle. “It is not Leslie Doyle”, said the Uncle after the next caller. “It is not Brenda Lee”, he said after caller Jack. “I’m going to say it’s the Osmond brothers”, said caller Wayne. “It is not Donny Osmond, you are very, very close”, said the Uncle after Wayne was allowed to guess again. “Let us talk to David. Hello David”, said the Uncle. “It is not Frankie Avalon”, said the Uncle. “The other caller (Wayne) was very close, but this is—you had to name one person”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “It is not Sarah Palin!” the Uncle shouted before speaking to caller George. “Is it Jimmy Osmond?” George asked. “Yes, it is Jimmy Osmond!” said our excited host. “He will get your information and Trey Lane remember to tell this man that he can’t get his tickets today”, said the Uncle. “Trey Lane, are you listening”, he shouted. “The song Jimmy Osmond ‘Knocking At Your Door’ ”, said the Uncle. “He was big in Japan. He was not—he was sort of not embraced in America as his brothers were”, the Uncle continued. “More tickets tomorrow, I have more BayFest passes for tomorrow”, said the Uncle. “More Uncle Henry Show, real discussion next!” he said before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues on this magnificent Monday”, said the Uncle. “Let’s see, let’s talk to Mike. Hello there, Mike, good morning”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry, I’m a patriot and I love this country and I want to let these people know that I will never, ever give up”, said Mike. “The liberal democrats make me mad, Uncle Henry”, Mike admitted. “The fight had just begun. God bless America, Uncle Henry”, said Mike before hanging up. “Thank you so much!” said the Uncle as he clapped. “You blessed me with that call, that’s just what I wanted to hear today!” said the Uncle, who played the role of someone in the studio saying, “Whoa is me”. “You have the right attitude, Mike. We just need to stick to our guns and fight, fight, fight”, the Uncle concluded. “Now listen to this, Time magazine”, said the Uncle, who admits that he doesn’t like reading Time and Newsweek, as he finds them frustrating. “How Did We Become the United States of France” is the name of the column our host found in Time. “Congratulations on your team again this weekend”, said our next caller Tommy before directing our host to the Drudge Report, where there is an article concerning northern California. “That state should go purple before it’s all over”, said Tommy after comparing northern California to southern California. “All right, I’ve got the article in front of me”, said the Uncle, who mentioned before that he’s got a relative who resides in the suburbs of San Francisco, California. “In San Francisco they have three AM talk stations and all three of them are dominated by conservatives”, said the Uncle. “It all isn’t the land of the fruits and the nuts as we have led to believe”, he said before reading the article Tommy mentioned. “Let’s talk to Paul. Hello Paul, good morning”, said the Uncle. “I listen to KGO radio everyday and they are the number one radio station in the San Francisco for the past 30 years”, said Paul before asking our host about the half-hour newscasts on his radio station. “How do they make their news balanced?” Paul asked about FOX News Radio before reminding him newsbreaks from CNN Radio, ABC News Radio, and the CBS Radio Network on 710 AM in the past. “What is your affiliate? Is there an ABC affiliate?” Paul asked. “If they have to tell you everyday that they are fair and balanced, wouldn’t that make you think that they are not fair and balanced?” Paul asked about FOX News Radio before our host told him all news has some bias. “It’s a slogan”, said the Uncle before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Very good, I’m glad that you’re getting good reaction to your Tax Man James website”, said the Uncle after listening to a voice message from frequent caller Jim the Tax Man before mentioning the “good reaction” to his website, where he posted video of a report from WKRG-TV5 about an dry wood image of Jesus. “A lot of these images that people find, they look like they’re drawn on, but these two guys they look very sincere”, said the Uncle, unless they are good actors. “The last caller that hates FOX News and very liberal, he would really love to read the e-mail (online)”, according to our host. “Maybe that’s the secret to communism is that you’re not pushed to want more”, said the Uncle, who finds it “kind of hard to think that way”. “One more thing on the website. Trey Lane, have you ever heard the ‘Neocon Ron’ song?” he asked the show’s call screener. “Shame on you”, said the Uncle, who told Trey Lane not to go there now. “I mentioned the Emmy Awards last night which I watched and could not watch”, said the Uncle, who did stop due to nasty content. “It was dull as dull can be”, said the Uncle. “For the best in television why do they have the worst in hosting”, said the Uncle, who believes he “did the right thing and abandoned the Emmy Awards” due to the news today, but later discovered a “recreation of ‘Laugh-In” during the awards program. “What was her name, Joann Woorley? She’s still got it! Or was that really Ruth Buzzi”, said the Uncle. “I saw her and I thought, ‘Was that really Ruth Buzzi or [someone] similar to Ruth Buzzi?’” the Uncle asked. “She looked great”, he said before speaking to caller Lee. “Good morning, Uncle Henry. Roll Tide Roll”, said Lee, who is “really unsettled about this government intervention in the markets”. “There has been much made in the Chinese buying up our towns and so much federal debt”, said Lee. “I wonder if looking ahead with knowledge and a defensible attitude” will come with the next president, said Lee. “With prayer and grace we’ll get through it all”, he said before leaving us. “Let’s talk to Rick. Hello Rick”, said the Uncle. “Hey, what’s going on?” Rick asked. “Not very much”, the Uncle answered. “I just want to say about the Grateful Dead, they were a great group”, said Rick. “I agree with everything you say about government, conservatism and liberalism”, said Rick before describing the Grateful Dead song “What a Long, Strange Trip It’s Been” as one containing “a lot of truth in it”. As he checked the radio station’s system for the song, “We do not have—oh wait, let me see, there’s more”, said the Uncle. “We have a lot of Grateful Dead because 96-1 ‘The Rocket’ (WRKH-FM) has a lot of psychedelic music on the Sabbath day”, said the Uncle before checking the website YouTube for the song. “We are getting a lot of very interesting callers this hour and I am very deeply interested in the interesting callers”, he said before the break for commercials, including a live commercial for Hall’s Meats, the popular meat product from Chickasaw, Alabama. After the break and a voice message, our host responded to it. “The next time we have the ‘Ask the Expert’ with the Irby-Overton lady”, said the Uncle, who is interested if it’s all right to have a fox’s head out the window of a car. “Let’s talk to Henry. Hello Henry”, he said to the next caller. “It’s been seven or eight months since the last time I’ve been able to speak to you”, said Henry, whose “friends on the Eastern Shore said we haven’t been able to hear you on Uncle Henry” until they heard about “my situation” involving a close relative. “That is so profound and I’m glad that you said it”, said the Uncle. “I missed you, I love you and I’m glad what you’re doing”, said Henry before leaving us. “When you get involved in the news of the day, it is easy to lose your perspective. Some people, like Trey Lane, don’t even have perspective”, said the Uncle. “I’m just glad that you called in with that much needed perspective”, said the Uncle before realizing that he has not checked the electronic mail today. “I’ll see if I can do that now “, he said. “I wonder if people call me when they know I’m on so they don’t have to talk with me”, said the Uncle before reading the electronic mail. “I see that I have several e-mails from Michael P. Sloan”, he said about the former newsreader for his station before speaking to caller Randy. “Earlier, I’m sorry, I have to work for a living”, said Randy, who was unable to hear our host’s whole conversation about “red states and blue states” and assumed it was about the Electoral College. “Randy throwing things about for contemplation and I like that”, said the Uncle. “We are barreling forward [to] the completion of today’s show”, he said before the break. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show on NewsRadio 710, we have ‘Ask the Expert’ coming up”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners about the newsbreak from “FOX News, fair and balanced. We report, you decide”. “I was thinking that before a constitution, our rules were strictly Biblical”, said our next caller. “Well, look, the only thing that I can turn to that doesn’t change every time I turn to it. It stays the same”, said the Uncle, who was referring to the Bible. “It is, um, less and less that I’ve ever been in a quandary of what I really need to do”, the Uncle continued. “If you want to hear this show again to listen back to your favorite callers, the show repeats. I think it begins to repeat at 11:00 on our Internet stream”, said the Uncle. “We stream live from 6:00 AM to 11:00 AM”, said the Uncle, followed by “five previous Uncle Henry Shows”. “And on the Uncle Henry page, numerous stuff updated on the Uncle Henry page today”, said the Uncle near the end of today’s show

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets an 8/10!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It is a fantastic Friday, beautiful morning. We’ve got some areas of rain”, said the Uncle before mentioning the football discussion planned for the next half-hour with radio host Dan Brennan of WKSJ-FM. “Before we get to that, your phone calls and if you want to talk about the football, you can call in about that too”, said the Uncle. “I understand that some group and I don’t know who these people are, but these people brought a petition to the (Mobile) city council” against the idea of a Mardi Gras park on an empty lot, said the Uncle. “If you can get a hundred people to sign up or more on something, I’m very interested in that”, said the Uncle. “And Press-Register, I hope you put something up about this”, he said before speaking to this hour’s first caller Michael, who had a “Roll Tide” shout for our host. “Let’s talk to John. Hello John, good morning”, he said to the next caller. “I think you need to keep Freddie and Joe and all those other guys around”, said John. “Keeps us intellectually honest”, said the Uncle, whom our host caller agreed with. “In searching for your link on your station’s web page, you are about two clicks away from hardcore pornography”, said John. “Proudly displaying her first episode of indoor plumbing”, John described the alleged pornographic material. “Would you mind telling, Trey Lane, where these clicks are?” the Uncle asked the show’s call screener. “I’m not the most intelligent person with a computer”, said John before staying on hold. “I don’t want to be anywhere near it and you say, ‘Well Uncle Henry, you’re being light hearted about the pornography clogging up your computer’ ”, said the Uncle, who was playing the role of the listener again by changing his tone of voice. After the first break for commercials, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to ‘The Tax Man’. Hello ‘Tax Man’ ”, he said to the frequent, rough-speaking caller no longer referred to as Jim the Tax Man. “Look, my website’s going great, TaxManJames.com”, said Jim, who is “trying to help out the Salvation Army with the water and ice” in San Antonio, Texas”. “This is a day of everybody telling me to ‘google’ something”, said the Uncle, who used the name of a well-known Internet search engine as a verb. “(251) 479-2723 is the number on the Uncle Henry Show. Let me see if there’s anything I left out”, said the Uncle after all “the manic people” concerned about the stock market over the past two days. “All right, Uncle Henry Show continues. Right now political phone calls [will no longer] be accepted”, said the Uncle, as he will be discussing football with radio host Dan Brennan. “The newspaper says that on Channel 44 tonight”, said the Uncle, “Family Guy” and “Stargate SG-1” will be on. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this”, our host declared. “Something more pleasant that politics to talk about, we’re going to talk about some football on the Uncle Henry Show”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 5/10!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. It’s Thursday, 9:06, six minutes after 9:00. Harbor Communications hotline number is (251) 479-2723”, said the Uncle as he reminded listeners how to contact him by telephone and electronic mail. “Talked a lot about the national elections, lots of that this hour, but let’s turn to some local stuff. The Press-Register reports a $10 million renovation for Shaw High School”, said the Uncle before listing the career courses planned such as agriscience commerce, engineering, fitness and sports medicine, and hospitality. “You know they didn’t have that kind of stuff when I was a kid. Trey Lane, did you have an opportunity to go to a career technical academy?” said the Uncle. “That would be a really good career path to have for these children”, he said about career technology before speaking to this hour’s first caller. “I think the Shaw High School—I think that would be a really good idea for some people”, said the caller, whose advice for our host is “not to let Freddie push your buttons everyday”. “Keep the faith”, he said. “I will take your advice”, said the Uncle. “So I will keep my guard up in those instances”, he added before congratulating an unidentified caller who left a voice message. “People are giving him a hard time for joining the military”, said the Uncle. “So here he is having a hard time joining the military”, he said before playing the voice message. “So, he wants to be productive in his life at age 30”, said the Uncle. “You heard him defending himself, he wants to be productive, he doesn’t want to be a lump just sitting around”, said the Uncle. “Sir, don’t let anybody [keep] you down”, he encouraged the caller. “I’m glad to hear that you want to be productive and I—it’s just a—you just need to get yourself out of that environment of people telling you not to do the right thing”, said the Uncle. “That age requirement is quite high”, said the Uncle, since the caller mentioned age 42 for the Army. “You can help our country and even if they didn’t understand it (ambient music)”, he suggested for the show’s call screener Trey Lane. “The fact that it’s not accessible to a man my age is irresistible”, according to our host. “You have the ambient put down your arms music”, he suggested before speaking to caller George. “I must say going into these branches of the services of the United States of America is one of the most honorable things you can do and it’s an honorable profession”, said George. “I know that it changed my life”, said George, who specified life direction and acknowledged the death of a friend according to the newspaper. “I just wanted to make that announcement, but maybe to most Caucasians it doesn’t mean much of a thing, but he was quite a character”, said George before leaving us. “I wonder how they figured it out since the ages are very different”, said the Uncle after finding other age requirements for servicemen. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle before responding to the recorded message. “You know, I haven’t paid any attention to them. I know they won a bunch of Grammy Awards”, said the Uncle. “I don’t know what the genre of music is that they are playing”, said the Uncle. “What is it? Adult contemporary? I don’t think so, I don’t think so”, said the Uncle. “So far I’ve received, I’ve received a lot of e-mails about the ESPN 360, a lot of people wanting me to get the Alabama (Crimson Tide football) games without getting the pay-per-view”, said the Uncle. “So Uncle Henry penetrating Semmes is complete”, according to our host after receiving a message concerning annexation, along with one congratulating him “for playing the ‘Barnaby Jones’ theme” yesterday. “E-mail is like casting a cast net, you never know what you get when you pull the net up”, said the Uncle before sharing his “frustration with the double standard in the media”. “When the Associated Press is asked by the Secret Service” about electronic mail fraud, said the Uncle, who read that they “won’t comply with that” request. “Heaven forbid they won’t comply with the Secret Service”, he said before mentioning that the Associated Press is “raising questions” about a vice presidential candidate. “What is G-Mail, I’ve used G-Mail. What is wrong with G-Mail? Does that raises any questions about me?” said the Uncle. “I just hope that despite all of this that the Secret Service can find this person”, said the Uncle. “We need to find out about that person, find out about their life”, he suggested. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, so let’s find out what this gander is up to”, said the Uncle. “Do you think we’ll find out any political affiliation with this person?” the Uncle asked. “I am looking forward to the sunshine shining in on this person—on this person whoever that might be”, said the Uncle. “All right, Uncle Henry Show, we have the news coming up”, said the Uncle, who wants to check on the almost live stream of the show on the radio station’s website. In response to listeners who say there is a trick with the stream, “There’s no trick, you just click it, so you might be having a software problem with all the pornography on your computer that is clogging it up”, said the Uncle, who twice allowed the streaming audio on the air.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Telephone number, Harbor Communications hotline is 479-2723”, said the Uncle, who remained calm after playing a voice message with a loud and rough tone of voice. “All right, let’s talk to Tom. Hello Tom, good morning”, said the Uncle. “Roll Tide Roll!” said Tom, followed by a “yeah!” after his shout of the Alabama Crimson Tide battle cry. “One of the main intersections in the whole county is just completely stacked”, said Tom, who is “wondering if the mayor is putting up some kind of system to block your show so that the people in the north can’t hear”. “Just like some kind of AM radio jamming device?” the Uncle asked. “Maybe somebody else will let me know if it’s just me and I need to get my radio checked”, said Tom, who is suspecting conspiracy. “If you want information on FM radio, it’s almost all liberal with the National Public Radio”, said the Uncle. “The AM is where you find the preachers and the conservative”, he said before speaking to caller Jeremy, who mentioned that he will be turning 20 years of age soon and that he will be voting for the first time during the November elections. “I just want to reach out to that age group (around 18)”, said Jeremy. “Are you saying that people that own a video game can get a voter registration through a video game?” the Uncle asked Jeremy. “That is strange. I wonder what video game players vote for?” the Uncle asked Jeremy, who was not surprised by non-bias responses from voters. “What kind of video games do you play?” the Uncle asked. “Well, I grew up on the old Nintendo video games, Mario and Sonic”, said Jeremy, who recently tried out a new game called “Rock Band”. “Thank you, you’ve opened up a window on a world that I knew nothing about”, said the Uncle. “Isn’t that nice, young person, not even 20, cannot even legally drink alcoholic beverages” calls the show with voter registration information, said the Uncle. “Won’t really get there (the “level of maturity”) until you’re age 30”, said the Uncle. “My pre-conceptions may have been wrong, but I get nervous when I hear someone say, ‘Well, I was raised by Mario’. I would like to investigate more”, said the Uncle, who was referring Mario Mario of the Super Mario Brothers. “I would like to verify the loss of the signal that the gentleman was referring to”, said our next caller. “All it seems that when ‘The Rush Limbaugh Show’ comes on, the signal goes all over the place”, said the caller. “It seems to go out frequently. It might be just a matter of your broadcast equipment malfunctioning at that moment in time”, said the caller. “So somehow strangely coincidentally during the most conservative and informal talk show in our nation’s history our station is tampered upon”, said the Uncle. After the break for commercials, “Let’s talk to Julia. Hello Julia”, said the Uncle. “I want to comment just a bit on the kids being raised by the Mario and Sonic”, said Julia, whose child at age 13 has been playing games for years and “is very conservative”. “My son, as I mentioned, he tests post-high school SAT exams”, said Julia. “Is there anything educational in those games like Mario and Sonic?” the Uncle asked. “He has a higher cognition because you can act for certain points in a video games”, said Julia, who “took a lot of flack” for letting her children, including a child aged 5 “on the same path” as her older son, play the games. “Maybe one day her son will perform operations on me using a joy stick to help me live longer”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Ron. Lost Ron! Let’s talk to Nick. Hello Nick”, said the Uncle, whose caller found the calls about the radio station’s signal “intriguing”. “We lose your station almost completely when sometimes you’re on”, said Nick. “That is intriguing that this show may be jammed”, said the Uncle, who believes that the reasons may be “personal radio grudges” rather than politics. After the final break for today, Trey Lane’s theme music was used as bumper music. “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let me briefly—let me briefly check in on Trey Lane, who has been very aggressive over the chat system”, said the Uncle before asking the call screener if he’s ever played games with Mario and Sonic. “I’m more of an Atari-age kid”, said Trey. “Does that mean you missed out on something?” the Uncle asked. “Did video games really have any impact on your life?” he also added. “He probably had groupees at age 16 or something”, our host assumed before speaking to caller Ron. “I want to make a first-hand report on your static”, said Ron. “I don’t know what kind of device they have on the lights there at Airport (Boulevard) and Schillinger (Road), but I had to turn the radio down”, said Ron. “It had to be something jamming the radio signals”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Captain Ron. Hello Captain Ron”, said the Uncle, who emphasized the word “captain”. “I heard your show and I thought this was ‘Coast to Coast AM’ live conspiracies”, said Captain Ron, who was referring to the overnight radio program that airs on our host’s station. “Something is going on out there and I don’t know how to get to the bottom of it, but I’m sure you and your callers will figure it out”, said Captain Ron. “AM signals is affected by anything electric”, said our next caller. “You’re bringing science into this and I am so glad that you’re on with this”, said the Uncle. “Whoever is bending it (the signal) better be doing it for good”, said the Uncle before listening to the online stream of the show again after reminding listeners about it. “I don’t know what that music is—now someone is jamming my stream on the Internet”, said the Uncle, who also mentioned that the radio program “Ask the Expert” is also available on the stream.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets an 8/10!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Well, you say that people of the states should take care of their own problems. I don’t know if that would work. For example, if we were to have a tremendous disaster [here] in Mobile, would they expect any help from northern Alabama?” said the Uncle after listening to an angry voice message. “The government seems to have some kind of magic money machine”, according to our host. “Uncle Henry Show in progress. The Harbor Communications hotline number is (251) 479-2723 or 1-888-360-WNTM and Mario, if you’re listening, couldn’t help but think of you this morning”, said the Uncle. “There is an ad for DirecTV this morning”, he brought to my attention, along with those of other listeners. “This picture of this man bothers me and it’s from the neck up of some guy and the headline is ‘Get DirecTV’ ”, he described the advertisement. “I can’t figure this out, but it really upsets—it disturbs me, this guy in this picture”, said the Uncle. “I wonder if someone can explain to me what subliminally happens here”, the Uncle requested. “It makes me not want to have DirecTV”, said the Uncle, who “wants to get Trey Lane here. He’s got a connection to popular culture”. “Can you see that picture in there?” he asked the show’s call screener. “Ok, I can see what your problem is. That is TV’s most beloved serial killer”, said Trey after identifying the character from the TV program “Dexter”. “So this is a serial killer looking at me?” said the Uncle. “He’s the people’s serial killer”, said Trey, who caused our host to laugh. “People are worried about the economy and here we make heroes out of serial killers”, said the Uncle. “So do you think this is the look of someone killing people?” the Uncle asked. “I will call upon you later in the broadcast, I’ve got some music news for you”, said the Uncle before Trey Lane returned to his work post. “All right, I apologize for the interlude. Let’s talk to Ed. Hello Ed”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry, let me ask you a question here, does Dave Letterman and those people up there”, said Ed, who asked, “Why can’t they pay for anything advertising on [their] show?” “Those type of things have been very successful in the past”, said the Uncle. “I’ll be 73 in the middle of October and I don’t see anything bad with the economy. I’m making money”, said Ed. “Let me see what the last big boycott that worked”, said the Uncle before mentioning “The Laura Schlesinger Show” boycott that lasted a week. “Let’s talk to Paul. Hello Paul”, he said to the next caller. “I’ve got a couple of comments, nothing negative”, said Paul. “Wonderful!” said the Uncle. “On the Red Cross, we work all disasters, you know”, said Paul. “We get down on the young people [quite] often”, said Paul. “Yes, because young people don’t know they are doing”, said the Uncle before Paul shared his experience at UMS-Wright Preparatory School. “They’ve got the Bible quoted at the school?” the Uncle asked. “They are absolutely perfect gentleman and ladies”, said Paul after describing the students’ clothing. “I am so glad that you are telling me about this”, said the Uncle. “It is wonderful that the UMS-Wright children are so well groomed and wearing their bridges”, said the Uncle “Taking the country back and going back to the constitution. Freedom for religion, not freedom from religion”, said Paul as “The Freddie Alert System” sound effect begins to play due to the frequent caller on hold. “I’ve activated the alert. I am risking my career taking this call. Hello Freddie, good morning”, said the Uncle. After Freddie’s last words for today, “Look, I’m late on a break. Freddie, you really struck out on [your] phone call today”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710”, he said before the break for commercials, beginning with a previously recorded commercial with our host saying, “All right, Trey Lane, talk more about your teeth”. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. 479-2723 the telephone number. Let’s talk to Mike. Hello Mike”, said the Uncle. “I always like listening to Freddie”, said Mike, who “got a really good laugh out of it”. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, said the Uncle. “Well good morning, Uncle Henry”, said George, who “thanked God that I was born an American” and that the president of the USA “stood up” on a certain calendar date without specifying the year in a comparison to a candidate for the presidency of the USA. “I was wrong, we are nowhere near a depression or even a recession”, said George after claiming he learned more about economics. “The news media is putting out this propaganda for their man (running for president)”, according to George. “This is all pure bull, they don’t know what they’re talking about”, George continued. “The world does not want to make America fail”, said George. “I hate to do this, but I have to cut you off”, said the Uncle in the final seconds in the segment. “Yeah, they need us as consumers, the rest of the world. They want us to buy their junk, the ‘made in China’ stuff”, said the Uncle. “News time is 9:30” he said.

“Uncle Henry Show proceeding. Coming up in about a half-hour we ‘Ask the Expert’, it is the free veterinarian advice from Medical”, said the Uncle, who enjoys “the ‘Ask the Expert’ discussions about cats and dogs and stuff”. “On a weird note speaking of pets”, said the Uncle as he brings to our attention a news story from Israel. “They are upset and there is a city in Israel and they are upset about dogs doing their business in the streets and what they are doing is getting people to swab their dogs for DNA”, said the Uncle, and analyze the dog mess. “Trey Lane types in to me ‘CSI spin off’ ”, the Uncle mentioned. “Isn’t that something anyway? I just had to share that anyhow”, said the Uncle, who found the news “fascinating”. “You’ll notice that there is a difference in a way the candidates are interviewed”, said the Uncle after receiving lists of questions used by Charles (or Charlie, as our host called him) Gibson of the American Broadcasting Company’s (ABC) news division. “Do you see a difference, a huge difference?” the Uncle asked. “I think you can see a difference where there’s softball and fastball and I think it’s wonderful that they have these transcripts”, said the Uncle. “And I want to thank Doug again”, he said to the caller who sent a picture of a candidate for the vice presidency of the USA. “That is just a lovely, lovely picture”, he said before speaking to caller Jenny. “I’m a new listener”, said Jenny. “I don’t normally call in, I just listen. I’ve got my standards up this morning after listening to Freddie”, said Jenny. “I don’t think this election should be decided on the color of the man, I think it should be decided on the qualities of the man”, said Jenny, who sent a message by electronic mail to Charles Gibson. As a suggestion to listeners, “Read the book of Esther in the Bible”, said Jenny, who believes the vice presidential candidate just mentioned can be compared to Esther because “she listens to God”. “There are Christian people I know for a long time that have been praying for a Christian leader”, said Jenny. “We have been founded by Christian people and we are a Christian leader and I personally don’t want to live in a socialist nation”, Jenny continued. “I absolutely agree with you”, the Uncle responded before the caller shared her prediction for socialized heath care if one candidate becomes president. “It’s really going to be bad for this country and they would be very sorry if they cast their vote, so whoever is listening, if this is Condoleezza Rice or Colin Powell, I would be the first in the voting booth to cast my vote”, said Jenny. “So, you vote on the person’s philosophy?” said the Uncle. “I’m so glad that you’re a new listener to the Uncle Henry Show”, said the Uncle, who wants Jenny to continue listening. According to caller Will, “You’ve got to have at least a 1.5 gig processor” to view an Alabama Crimson Tide football game on a flat screen TV set. “God bless you, Will. That is wonderful. You may have changed my life with your one phone call”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Mr. C. Hello Mr. C.” said the Uncle, who expressed excitement for this caller. “Good morning, how are you?” Mr. C. “I just want to compliment that lady who just called you before you hung up”, said Mr. C., who said “that was one of the best calls I’ve heard in a long time” before reminding listeners about learning from history or being condemn to repeat it. “I remember when (Adolf) Hitler first started—this country at first didn’t say anything about it when he took over Poland and took over Czechoslovakia and all these other countries”, said Mr. C. “How in the name of God can people be paying more taxes when people are losing more jobs and jobs are going overseas. Do these people think I’m crazy?” said Mr. C., who prays for our host and everyone else involved in the production. “Mr. C., World War II veteran”, said the Uncle before speaking to the next caller. “That Charlie Gibson interview sounded more like a speech interview?” said Tommy. “Oh, you mean the Obama interview”, said the Uncle, who was unsure about the subject of the interviewer. “I go online onto Bama 360”, said our next caller Ron, who got a “blackout” message on the website where he tried to view a football game. “It’s not that good”, said Ron. “That sounds like most of my online experiences anyway. I’ll go take a shot”, said the Uncle. “I appreciate the information about the ESPN 360. Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show concluding here in just a moment with news coming up”, said the Uncle. “Local musician Trey Lane. Trey Lane?” he said to the show’s call screener. “Can you send me the question?” Trey asked. “No. Why would anybody want to hurt Celine Dion?” the Uncle asked before acknowledging the interest in the contracts of well-known folks. “Hers is making a lot of news because she is requiring 11 on-stage body guards”, said the Uncle. “At all times and eight of the 11 are to be on chairs that swivel”, the Uncle continued. “Is she that incredible that people are rushing at her”, the Uncle asked. “Have you seen candid footage of her?” Trey asked. “She’s losing her mind”, according to Trey. “Listening to Celine Dion makes my teeth hurt, so she just must be hearing something similar”, said Trey. “She also requires Bavarian figs, so maybe that’s where her voice is, maybe Bavarian figs is where her voice is”, said the Uncle. “Thank you for listening and I appreciate you for doing that and we’ll be back at 6:00 AM to do more it”, he said to listeners. “Remember to pray and there are a lot of others to pray for”, he reminded listeners at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

“A Hint of Fall” – TV5 meteorologist John Nodar

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. It’s a fantastic day, we’re up to 70 degrees. You know that, the free snakes, I don’t know, I hate to be in a position where I have enough snakes to put up a sign that says ‘free snakes’. I need to get the free snakes person in touch with one of our engineer persons. He says he has pet rats”, said the Uncle. “Do you know what I’m talking about that he’s got a bunch of rats? I don’t know—I don’t know why you haven’t heard anything about it yet”, he said to the show’s call screener Trey Lane before identifying him. “Let’s talk to Brett. Hello Brett, good morning”, he said to the first caller this hour. “I have no with problem with people having the satellite dishes”, said Brett. “The lady that called in earlier that says Missouri is one of the highest states in terms of meth”, said Brett, who believes this makes the show more educational. “If you find any hard working minimum wage people in Happy Hills (neighborhood), I’ll buy 10 of them satellite dishes each”, said Brett. “Let’s talk to Bull. Hello Bull”, said the Uncle. “You’ve got somebody over there with a problem with pet rats”, said Bull before bringing to our attention a local animal rescue organization he believes nobody around here knows about, all though it’s “the only one in the southeast” and in Mobile. “I won’t say the name unless you want me to”, said Bull. “That’s your decision if you want to”, said the Uncle before Bull identified the organization as Chaos and Critters. “They take any kind of exotic animals, any kind of pet”, said Bull. “Thank you very much for your phone call, that is quite fascinating”, said the Uncle. “How do you know that a snake is happy or an iguana?” our host asked. “Let’s talk to Artie. Hello Artie”, he said to the next caller, who had a shout of “Roll Tide” for our host. “What do you think the [Arkansas] game’s going to be this weekend?” Artie asked about the scheduled football game with the Alabama Crimson Tide. “To me it’s not real unless it’s the SEC (Southeastern Conference)”, said the Uncle. “I’m going to get off the snake issue”, said Artie, who wants to “talk about the stock market crashing” and companies “going under” and asked for our host’s thoughts about those issues. “I think we are not yet at the end of this”, said the Uncle, who believes there are more “shoes to drop”. “Here we are talking about deregulating again”, said Artie, yet he predicts more trouble. After sharing the thoughts requested, “(251) 479-2723 is the number as we move forward”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. During a live commercial, “All right the Uncle Henry Show continues with the teeth of Trey Lane being a main focus”, said the Uncle, whose call screener gave him the idea of giving the teeth their own segment on the show. “When the topic of your teeth expands, we can give it their own show”, the Uncle suggested. “Dr. Byron Scott, dentist to the stars: Trey Lane, Ron Reams, Uncle Henry”, he said at the end of the commercial. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. 479-2723 is the number. Let’s talk to Bebe. Hello Bebe”, said the Uncle. “Don’t get me started on that situation in Washington”, said Bebe, who was referring to the federal government taking control of two mortgage firms. “It is just ridiculous. Do you remember when Ron Brown was killed in that plane crash?” Bebe asked our host, who remembered. “That was Bill Clinton’s commerce secretary and they had to get rid of him”, said Bebe. “These people come with their little talking points, God, if they could leave”, said Bebe, who used the word “hell” in a profane way. “Asking people to go and research this stuff is too much to ask”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Norman, who was angry as usual. “Don’t you all know anything? That’s what the media likes you to believe. This whole mess is greedy and corporate”, said Norman before admitting his sarcasm. “A lot of these people pointing fingers and like the George Soros”, said Norman. “Uncle Henry Show continues, phone lines are open here”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners about the show’s almost live Internet stream. After the radio program “Ask the Expert” concludes, “the web stream begins to repeat the Uncle Henry Show five times in a row repeatedly”, said the Uncle. “That is available for the hardcore fans at NewsRadio710.com”, he said before mentioning the link to the Online Encyclopedia of Alabama on his section of the site. “That tells you about the state you live in or are passing through and it’s paid for by the tax dollar”, said the Uncle before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. I can’t believe we’re that close to the dreaded BayFest. Kid Rock and all that mess”, said the Uncle before summoning call screener Trey Lane. “Put on your harness”, he said. “Have you ever played BayFest?” he asked the call screener and “professional musician”, as he frequently calls him. “There is news about BayFest, a doctor has asked the lead singer of Avenged Sevenfold to rest his voice”, the Uncle announced. “The guy screams”, said Trey. “So that music involves screaming?” the Uncle asked. “Unless you know what you’re doing, unless you’re a professional screamer, that can do a lot of damage”, said Trey, who knows professional screamers “that scream every night”. “Yeah, he through it out”, Trey said about the Avenged Sevenfold lead singer. “Have you ever teamed up with a screamer?” the Uncle asked. “Yeah, I’ve had a screamer in my band”, said Trey. “This show has had so much education today”, said the Uncle. “That was a part of the world I had no idea about: the professional screamer. Let’s talk to Nick. Hello Nick”, said the Uncle. “Very interesting show today”, said Nick. After Nick left us, “A lot of information crammed into that phone call. Let’s talk to ‘The Tax Man’. Hello ‘Tax Man’ ”, said the Uncle, who no longer calls this frequent caller Jim the Tax Man. “Let me talk on about charity. I have on my website the Salvation Army in San Antonio, Texas”, said Jim. “I’ve got my government kickback check, you know, the economic stimulus refund”, said Jim, who plans to donate some of the money to Texas for storm relief. “We can eat beans and sardines and Vienna sausage, but we don’t have any ice and water”, said Jim in an irritating tone of voice. “Outstanding, excellent. TaxManJames.com”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break and audio of the opening to the TV program “Barnaby Jones”, “and Uncle Henry. The Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710. Well look, Buddy Ebsen, Barnaby Jones, what a wonderful show”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Steve. “Yes, this conversation this morning about the satellite dishes and what neighborhood(s) they should be in”, said Steve. “They know how much money they make. That’s an issue between them and God”, according to Steve. “You are absolutely correct”, the Uncle responded. “Anyway, you have a nice day today, everybody have a nice day, and if you have you satellite dishes, enjoy them”, said Steve. “If you don’t”, he later said in a laid back way, enjoy the “three channels” before “they turn off the thing (analog signals)” and you can “get a box from the government”. “Hey Henry, did they ever make a move on the idea to give people tickets for running red lights?” caller John asked. “No, that is not yet legal in the state”, the Uncle answered. “Well, there is definitely a camera on all four corners (of Hillcrest Road)”, said John, who “just wanted to know if that (law) got approved or not”. “I think that if cities continue to struggle in revenue, I think that more of them” will have red light cameras, said the Uncle before the break. After the final break for today, “The Uncle Henry Show concluding”, said the Uncle, who reminded listeners “you can listen to the show all day at NewsRadio710.com”.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 6/10!

“Nice” – TV5 meteorologist John Nodar

Monday, September 15, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It’s Monday, 9:06 six minutes after 9:00. We have a front moving this way”, said the Uncle, who was referring to a cool front. “If you’ve listened to this show for a while, you may recall ‘The Happiness Lady’ ”, he said about a past guest to the show. “There have been some very hateful voice mails about those appearances from some people, but none the less 80% [positive]”, said the Uncle. “Late Saturday afternoon, there was a house warming, we went to her house for a house warming and it was a wonderful, wonderful thing”, said the Uncle. “I did not stay for the entire house warming party because I do not like to drive out at night”, he admitted. “Saraland wonderful, I haven’t been the Saraland in a while, but it’s the Saraland like I remember”, according to our host. “I’m not doing a commercial right now”, he said before describing a GPS (global positioning satellite) device. “It’s just entertaining having this thing on”, he admitted. “When I was walking around my house, it says you’re off course, you’re off course”, the Uncle explained. “It seemed irritated of me having independent directions”, according to our host. “It successfully got me to her house”, the Uncle continued. “Isn’t the technology today amazing?” he asked. Since Saturday’s Alabama Crimson Tide football game was a pay-per-view event, “I decided I was going to watch the Auburn Tigers, as Auburn played Mississippi State and it was absolutely the worst football game—I cannot remember any other football that was so bad”, said the Uncle. “It was such an excruciating experience”, he described the three and a half-hour game. “Mississippi State, God bless them”, he said. “This poor guy, this quarterback went out there”, said the Uncle, who described the fellow as a “ ‘Pop Arnold’, this child among adults”. “I put the blame on Alabama for having this pay-per-view. I am philosophically opposed”, said the Uncle before listing some Alabama Crimson Tide merchandise he has purchased. “I’ve got a ‘Big Al’ music box”, said the Uncle, whose music box plays the Alabama Crimson Tide fight song. “All this money and they don’t want me to see the game. You have to pay to watch the game”, said the Uncle. “I blame them for making me watch the Auburn game. Shame on them!” he said before speaking to this hour’s first caller Betty, who wants to know the difference between the mortgage companies known as Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. “You think I’ve fallen unconscious?” the Uncle asked Betty. “Yes”, Betty answered, which caused our host to laugh. “Fannie Mae is the Federal National Mortgage Association, publicly traded government organization”, said the Uncle. “Freddie Mac is the Federal Mortgage Loan Corporation and the difference is—I’m not sure”, said the Uncle before explaining in his own way. “It would take someone a little bit more verse in this to actually explain the differences between the two. Let’s talk to Steve”, said the Uncle. “First of all I just want to congratulate Deborah Jones on the house”, said Steve, who was referring to “The Happiness Lady”. “I can’t hardly believe there’s anyone out that has anything hateful to say about this woman”, said Steve. “There have been some (hateful) people on my voice mail”, said the Uncle. “It’s funny how it seems to work that we’ve got all these concentrated oil platforms where [all] these hurricanes hit”, said Steve. “Anyway, take care of yourself, Uncle Henry, have a great week. I’m going to make some money”, he said before leaving us. “Make as much [money] as you can”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “You need to look around a bit closer. There’s the, um, what’s that place down on—is it Ben’s in Fairhope. Do you know the one I’m talking about, Ben’s in Fairhope?” said the Uncle in response to the listener’s recorded message. “There is another place in Fairhope that is off the beaten track, it’s right off a school”, the Uncle continued. “I can’t remember this place, it’s really good”, said the Uncle. “There are places in Foley, there are places in Robertsdale, you just need to get off the beaten path”, our host suggested before speaking to caller Frank. “Why do you think they have pay-per-view programs?” Frank asked. “They allow the fans to see the games not on network television”, the Uncle answered. “The schools receive a portion of the funds from the games from television proceeds”, said Frank. “I stuck with them through Curry, I stuck with them through the ‘Brody wasn’t hurt era’, I stuck with them through the whole Mike Price thing”, said the Uncle. “After all I’ve done for them and now they don’t want me to see the game”, the Uncle concluded before Frank accused him of showing his “true colors”. “Just because you disagree with you, doesn’t mean you get to be personally insulting to me”, said the Uncle. “Yes, you are!” he said to Frank. “Hey, you don’t like the Beatles?” Frank asked. “What does the Beatles have to do with Alabama football?” the Uncle asked before Frank reminded our host about the idea of the show being “less cerebral”. “That is Uncle Henry live streaming on the Internet? Can you believe something stupid like streaming on the Internet?” said the Uncle after allowing the delayed audio stream of the show on the air. “Frank, I know you can’t continue to listen because it’s too stupid to you, but I’ll talk about the Beatles”, said the Uncle. “I hate you have to put up with that ridiculous mess”, said our next caller Norman before giving our host a shout of “Roll Tide” before expressing anger as usual after visiting a news website connected to the ABC Television Network. “It just makes me mad that I can’t see straight”, said Norman, who was angry to the very last few seconds of the segment before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Telephone number (251) 479-2723, that’s 479-2723. Let’s talk to Tommy. Hello there, Tommy”, said the Uncle. “Hey, that place you’re talking about is Ray Ray”, said Tommy. “Ray Ray’s in Fairhope?” the Uncle asked. “Another couple of good places, Ben’s is very good on the corner of the gas station with the little thing—I don’t know”, said Tommy before recalling the restaurant’s street corner. “There is also the place called Guy’s Gumbo”, said Tommy. “So there is barbecue to be found?” the Uncle asked. “Let’s talk to Curtis. Hello Curtis. Good morning”, he said to the next caller. “I want to talk to you about something concerning the satellite”, said Curtis. “There was no pay-per-view at all, it was wonderful”, Curtis remembered. “When one of the storms come through, one of us is going to watch”, said Curtis. “Pay-per-view for Western Kentucky, who in the world is going to be watching that?” Curtis asked. “Ray Ray’s started in Daphne up in the fair lane, but he went up in Fairhope”, said our next caller Jim the Tax Man, who is simply known as ‘The Tax Man’ after his frequent calls. “I think it was the location that did him (Ray Ray’s) in”, said the Uncle. “ ‘Tax Man’ referring to a voice mail which I had Friday morning”, said the Uncle, who described the message as having a “misquote of scripture”. After the next caller inspired him, “You know, Trey Lane, I’ve lost 12 pounds in the last 12 days. Yes, don’t make that face at me, I did”, said the Uncle, who “came up with my own diet”. “That’s right, I’ve constructed my own diet”, said the Uncle. “I’m eating olives all day long, just dribbling an olive here and an olive there and it’s working beautifully. [Just] all kinds of olives, Trey Lane”, the Uncle explained. “Very effective, speaking of Trey Lane, let’s get to that Beatles story”, said the Uncle. “He implied that if you don’t like the Beatles, you are stupid”, he said about caller Frank. “Did he get that from you, Trey Lane?” he asked the show’s call screener. “The man sounded like he was young like he was in his forties or something. You see, I was there”, said the Uncle. “Oh, they really ruined popular culture”, said the Uncle after assuming that “you (Frank) were a little baby when the Beatles were around”. “I blame the Beatles for popularizing making drugs cool. There will always be drugs, people have done some kind of drugs, but the Beatles popularized it”, said the Uncle. “That’s just as stupid as saying that the Beatles are stupid”, said Trey, whom our host disagreed with before mentioning one other musician. “Men and women were afraid of Mick Jagger. Not in a good way, just a frightening way”, said the Uncle before describing a scientific study about the Beatles and “what would their songs be like if they haven’t taken drugs”. “That sounds like opinion and speculation being passed on as science”, said Trey. “You don’t have to be on drugs to enjoy it”, he said about the music. “I’d have to be sedated to enjoy it, but what do I know, I’m stupid”, said the Uncle. “Trey Lane, providing the necessary musical expertise”, said the Uncle as Trey Lane returned to his work post to the sounds of music theme music. Before taking a break for commercials, “Uncle Henry Show continues on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to ‘The Idea Guy’. Good morning, ‘Idea Guy’ ”, said the Uncle. “Since you didn’t see the game, I’ve got a picture here and I’m going to bring it to your office”, said “Idea”. “This is a actual picture and he (Nick Saban) really signed it personally”, he described it. “Look, I did yoga this morning, but I don’t do that kind of stuff with the incest and grapes”, “Idea” mentioned before describing his wife’s yoga workout from a book. “If there’s anything wrong with you, you go buy that book at Barnes and Noble”, “Idea” said about the book “Pain Free”. “It’s just a wonderful book and it cures a lot of your problems”, said “Idea”. “I will be able to hang that on the wall next to my signed picture of Gene Stallon”, said the Uncle before the next caller. During a live commercial, “Uncle Henry Show is very proud to have Trey Lane going to Dr. Byron Scott, Spring Hill Medical Health”, said the Uncle. “So far, so good”, Trey described his dental work. “I’m not just devious, I also have a new smile”, he said after our host mentioned other employees noticing the teeth. After the final break for today and a voice message, “Fast approaching the end of the show, at least I think we’re about to conclude the show. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow’s show. Jere Hough from WKRG News 5 says it’s going to be cooler”, said the Uncle before mentioning the electronic mail “shot in the show at the last minute. L. A. Barbecue in Robertsdale”. “Remember to pray, pray for others and when you’re in doubt of what to do, you will find the answers within the pages of your Bible. It’s 10 o’clock”, he reminded listeners at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

“Signs of Autumn” – TV5 meteorologist Jere Hough

Friday, September 12, 2008

Today's Show




We start off today's show with…


“My goodness! Well, Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Bill, please, I hope everything is ok with you”, said the Uncle, who assured the caller in the voice message that proceeded him “that is the show is better with you on a sabbatical”. “Bill, please, Bill, I don’t know what’s the matter”, said the Uncle before speaking to the first caller this hour. “Bill, hang on, bro”, said the caller, who said he “looked exactly like I pictured him to be” after seeing Bill’s picture on our host’s website. “Speaking of the website”, said the caller, who noticed “a couple of spots on there on the 710 page there with you” as a “source of sanity” surrounded by them. “It’s like they’re deliberately trying to drive me out of my mind”, said the Uncle before the caller brought to our attention a feature o the site about “women painting with their breasts” for cancer research. “What in the world is this?” the Uncle shouted. “Why are they doing this to me?” the Uncle asked. “Have a nice weekend”, said the caller before leaving us. “Well thanks for that!” said our irritated host. “It’s like a deliberate—now they know I’m going on the website to get the (live) stream and now this is a deliberate thing to drive me out of my mind. Well listener, I’ve objected earlier—we started off the week with objections at the photo gallery”, said the Uncle. “Now we’ve gotten to this point”, he continued. “I don’t know what it is”, he seemed to admit. “That’s all I can tell you, I’ve objected pretty much as I can”, our host concluded before speaking to caller Dennis. “I’m over in Foley”, said Dennis. “How are things in Foley?” the Uncle asked Dennis. “Windy”, said Dennis, who added that things are great before sharing his memories of a teacher in high school. “Now it seems like way back then in the Seventies and Eighties we had that debate (about the role of government and its size), but the debaters didn’t hate each other”, said Dennis while comparing it to today’s debaters. “The points of view have been this way since the beginning of time”, said the Uncle. “You just hear more about it than ever before”, the Uncle continued. “I just think the basics of human nature—unfortunately human nature can be pretty ugly”, he concluded. “I wish we can get back to the real argument about the debate”, said Dennis before using the word “I really wanted to use”, the word “argument”. “I agree that the debate is healthy, where we can actually talk about the issues and keep it at that”, said the Uncle before the next caller. “I agree that there is no balanced discussion, so we don’t have that discussion”, said the caller. “There is never a reason to respond to why I believe this a great country”, according to the caller. “I think the debate has been stifled and its people, many people like you and the local talk show hosts that have done a better job talking about it”, he said before leaving us. “It’s just been a media explosion with the Internet”, said the Uncle. “I encourage you to do what I do and not just turn it on and I don’t. Let’s talk to John. Hello John”, said the Uncle. “Well good morning, Henry”, said John. “I had to miss Bill and I was really disappointed that he had to take a sabbatical from the show”, said John. “I did get a little bit disturbed the other day when he was talking about his religion and speaking in tongues”, said John, who was “all right with that”. “I hope Bill reconsiders and comes back to the show”, said John. “Well it was great meeting you and thank you for your phone and thank you for your slice of life”, said the Uncle after hearing John’s story. “Trey Lane, are you not enjoying that?” he asked the show’s call screener before the break for commercials. After the break, “This is the Uncle Henry Show here on NewsRadio 710 on a Friday. Let’s talk to Cindy. Hello Cindy”, said the Uncle. “Well good morning, Uncle Henry”, said Cindy, who asked our host if he saw that “whatever you want to call it last night (forum)” with two candidates for the presidency of the USA. “They’re going to have some debates”, our host informed Cindy. “More than one”, she wondered before learning that three debates are planned. “I heard from some other talk shows too that there is a lot you cannot ask (at debates)”, said Cindy. “Well anyway I enjoy your show and have a nice weekend”, said Cindy, whose call included a dog baking in the background. “Thank you for enjoying the show and I enjoyed your call”, said the Uncle before playing a listener’s voice message continuing the discussion of the race of the presidency of the USA. “Let’s talk to Norman. Hello Norman”, said the Uncle. “The other thing that gets me is the gas that I had to put into my truck this morning”, said Norman, who heard “that we might have our supplies shut off after the hurricane” and the price of gasoline has all ready risen at this service station. “That just makes me sick!” said Norman, who was angry as usual. “All right, look, I’ve got to run, Norman, I’m up on the news”, said the Uncle before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 7/10!

Note of Interest:

Folks, due to the Uncle and his guest from WKSJ-FM Dan Brennan discussing high football and college football, your daily writer decided not to write about the next half-hour of the show since the subject is something I don’t enjoy hearing about on the radio for a long period of time. Good day!

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